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Advantages and Disadvantages of children using smart phones

Advantages and Disadvantages of children using smart phones 6LdR8
In the 21st century of technology, the usage of electronic devices such as smart phone, tablets and computers is becoming more and more prevalent among people including teenagers, children and even the toddlers. Some parents leave their children with smartphone while they are working or some use them for teaching their kids. However, there are both pros and cons of children using smartphones. In this essay, I will emphasize on how smartphones can benefit children and also how they can harm them. Let’s start by discussing about the advantages of children utilizing smartphones. One of the main positives is that children can learn the enormous amount of knowledge online. There are tons of educational materials for different ages ranging from toddlers to teenagers. If they find difficulties with their homework of if they are not clear with the lessons they can look up on the internet immediately. For disabled children, homeschooling and online learning are accessible through the internet. Secondly, using smartphones can bring good social communications with people. Children can chat with their classmates and friends and discuss about their homework or school project. Also, parents can keep in touch with their children when they are away from home and they can even install GPS tracking system for the sense of security. Turning to the other side of the discussion, improper usage of smartphones and other electronic devices may harm the health of children. In many cases, children become so addicted to mobile games and play them throughout the night. This can hugely disturb their sleeping hours and consequently lead to deterioration of general health. Another issue is that without proper restriction, children can get access to mature contents such as violent or sexually-explicit scenes form the movies. This earlier exposure to adult contents may affect children’s behavior as well as their cognitive ability. All things considered, children using smart phones is not a pure advantage. Using the latest technology can make your child easier with life but in many cases people find smartphones are not suitable for children. Therefore, proper parental guidance is necessary especially in young children for them to be benefited by using smart phones.
In the 21st century of technology, the usage of electronic devices such as smart phone, tablets and computers is becoming more and more prevalent among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and even the toddlers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with smartphone while they are working or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for teaching their kids.
However
, there are both pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using smartphones. In this essay, I will emphasize on how smartphones can benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
also
how they can harm them.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by
Did you mean simply "discussing the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about the
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
utilizing smartphones. One of the main positives is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn the enormous amount of knowledge online. There are tons of educational materials for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages ranging from toddlers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. If they find difficulties with their homework of if they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
with the lessons they can look up on the internet immediately. For disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, homeschooling and online learning are accessible through the internet.

Secondly
, using smartphones can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social communications with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can chat with their classmates and friends and
Did you mean simply "discuss their"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about their
homework or school project.
Also
, parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they are away from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they can even install GPS tracking system for the sense of security.

Turning to the other side of the discussion, improper usage of smartphones and other electronic devices may harm the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addicted to mobile games and play them throughout the night. This can
hugely
disturb their sleeping hours and
consequently
lead to deterioration of general health.

Another issue is that without proper restriction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to mature contents such as violent or
sexually
-explicit scenes form the movies. This earlier exposure to adult contents may affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior
as well
as their cognitive ability.

All things considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using smart phones is not a pure advantage. Using the latest technology can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your child easier with life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find smartphones are not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, proper parental guidance is necessary
especially
in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for them to
be benefited
by using smart phones.
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IELTS essay Advantages and Disadvantages of children using smart phones

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
359 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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