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Advantages and disadvantages of children start using computer in early age

Advantages and disadvantages of children start using computer in early age Gw36B
In recent years, children, like adults, have become increasingly exposed to computers. While some child psychologists have claimed that this is a good thing, others have claimed that it has an overwhelmingly detrimental impact on children. In this essay, I shall draw upon a number of studies in cognitive science and industrial psychology that reveal the positive and negative aspects of this phenomenon. To begin with, there are clearly reasons why computers do not allow children to develop long attention spans. This is because computers are packed with many supposedly child-friendly games that require minimal levels of concentration in order to be enjoyed. For example, a study by the New York Child Learning Association found that children who read from picture books were 50% less likely to get distracted than children who played educational computer games. Therefore computers almost certainly have a negative impact on young children. However, since the world has become heavily reliant on computers, there are also clearly advantages to exposing children to computers. This is because children with such exposure will stand a better chance of finding employment. For example, after being interviewed by Yale psychologists, over 70% of young office workers admitted that they had spent long hours on computers in their middle and late childhood years. Therefore it is clear that computer exposure can be beneficial to children. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to early computer exposure. However, if, in the future, the quality of educational gaming is increased, there is good reason to believe that these negative consequences will fall entirely away.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, like adults, have become
increasingly
exposed to computers. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
child psychologists have claimed that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing, others have claimed that it has an
overwhelmingly
detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In this essay, I shall draw upon a number of studies in cognitive science and industrial psychology that reveal the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this phenomenon.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
clearly
reasons why computers do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop long attention spans. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers
are packed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
supposedly
child-friendly games that require minimal levels of concentration in order to
be enjoyed
.

For example
, a study by the New York Child Learning Association found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who read from picture books were 50% less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who played educational computer games.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
computers almost
certainly
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on young children.

However
, since the world has become
heavily
reliant on computers, there are
also
clearly
advantages to exposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to computers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with such exposure will stand a better chance of finding employment.

For example
, after
being interviewed
by Yale psychologists, over 70% of young office workers admitted that they had spent long hours on computers in their middle and late childhood years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that computer exposure can be beneficial to children.

In conclusion
, there are advantages and disadvantages to early computer exposure.
However
, if, in the future, the quality of educational gaming
is increased
, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to believe that these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences will fall
entirely
away.

IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of children start using computer in early age

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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