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Some believe advertisements help to sell products more. Some believe too much advertisements, people get bored

Some believe advertisements help to sell products more. Some believe too much advertisements, people get bored JqR9w
It is believed that humans can be easily tricked if the correct method is used to captivate them into doing the things that they might not. Such as, some people think advertisements are one of the methods to lure them to buy things, which they do not need. However, others believe if an individual has been seeing too many of it, it may lose its effect to get their attention. Before expounding my point of view, I would like to elucidate both views below. Indeed, it is true that the purpose of the advertisements is to attract people to buy products. In fact, it works the most of time. For example, when a survey was conducted by the renowned institute, it was discovered that majority of consumers do buy things when they look a product on the Billboards, internet, etc. even if they do not require the particular product. It is believed that advertisements influence the human thinking power and make them do things which they might not do. In contrast, other believes that if advertisements are shown too many times it looses their effects and people become ignorant to it. For instance, the ad of a chocolate was aired on TV many times for a particular duration, later it was realised by the company that selling of a product declined due to that reason. Thus, if an ad is aired continuously on a channel or a place, people get tired of it and they sometimes start hating the product too. To recapitulate, I concur with the opinion that ads are helpful to change the person mind into buying the thing. I, also, have bought the things after watching them only. But, I think it can be more beneficial for a company if they do not air the advertisements more than often and does not make it common place.
It
is believed
that humans can be
easily
tricked if the correct method is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to captivate them into doing the things that they might not. Such as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are one of the methods to lure them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things, which they do not need.
However
, others believe if an individual has been seeing too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of it, it may lose its effect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
expounding my point of view, I would like to elucidate both views below.

Indeed
, it is true that the purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In fact, it works the
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
.
For example
, when a survey
was conducted
by the renowned institute, it
was discovered
that majority of consumers do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things when they look a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
on the Billboards, internet, etc. even if they do not require the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
influence the human thinking power and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them do things which they might not do.

In contrast
, other believes that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are shown
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times it looses their effects and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become ignorant to it.
For instance
, the ad of a chocolate
was aired
on TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times for a particular duration, later it was
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that selling of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
declined due to that reason.
Thus
, if an ad
is aired
continuously
on a channel or a place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
hating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
too.

To recapitulate, I concur with the opinion that ads are helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the person mind into buying the thing. I,
also
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the things after watching them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it can be more beneficial for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
if they do not air the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it common place.
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IELTS essay Some believe advertisements help to sell products more. Some believe too much advertisements, people get bored

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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