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Advantage and disadvantage. Change work several time in your life

Advantage and disadvantage. Change work several time in your life e3Ebx
Nowadays, change occupation always to being increasily popular among a lot of people. I think everyone want to earn more wealth during their life therefore many people change their occupation several time and it can efficient financial side. But every work has beneficial and also drawback. I will discuss to you both sides about this topic with clearly. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of changing occupation. One of the main positives of changing job is useful for your financial side. What I mean by this is If you have much money you can buy anything which you eager and also it can effect to your lifestyle to more quality. i think you can supply which need anything anytime for you. For example well known cars, clothes, home and anything you want. Secondly, change occupation is effective for your personality. What I mean by this is you can be more sociable for conversation with your colleague much more and it can effective for your sociability and also you can get conversation anywhere with anybody and it may improve your horizone. turning to the other side of the argument, it can bring to you a lot of health problems. what I mean by this is over-active lifestyle can damage for you, it may damage for mental or nervous system. it can bring also early aging. for example if you come from your first work to second work late then your chief give you punishment and a lot of this kind of situations can damage your nervous and also if you hurry up every time you haven't enough time to focus on your nutrition it can also harmful for your health. another issue is that it can harmful for your relationship with family members. what I mean by this is if you haven't enough time to look after your household may be your children then it is not right. If you think only about your job it is damage for you and also your children because if they undergo happily childhood then they will kind to you during your future. All things considered, change occupation several times never easy. You should enough focus on your career and also your family household. It is more important than your any works. I believe life isn't consist of only work therefore you must safe more your relationships.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
always to being
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasily
popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to earn more wealth during their life
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and it
The word 'efficient' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can efficient
financial side.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has beneficial and
also
drawback. I will discuss to you both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
about this topic with
clearly
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
. One of the main positives of changing job is useful for your financial side. What I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
by this is If you have much money you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything which you eager and
also
it can effect to your lifestyle to more quality.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you can supply which need anything anytime for you.
For example
well known cars, clothes, home and anything you want.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
is effective for your personality. What I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
by this is you can be more sociable for conversation with your colleague much more and it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can effective
for your sociability and
also
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
conversation anywhere with anybody and it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
horizone
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
turning
to the other side of the argument, it can bring to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
by this is over-active lifestyle can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
for you, it may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
for mental or nervous system.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
can bring
also
early aging.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from your
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
late then your chief give
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'you'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
you punishment
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
this kind of situations can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
your nervous and
also
if you hurry up every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you haven't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to focus on your nutrition it can
also
harmful for your health.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
another
issue is that it can harmful for your relationship with family members.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
by this is if you haven't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after your household may be your children then it is not right. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about your job it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
for you and
also
your children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they undergo
happily
childhood then they
The word 'kind' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will kind
to you during your future.

All things considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
never easy. You should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
focus on your career and
also
your family household. It is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than your any works. I believe life isn't consist of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
therefore
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
more your relationships.
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IELTS essay Advantage and disadvantage. Change work several time in your life

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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