Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Advances in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that nation interact with each other in a global society. Choose another technological innovation that you think is important. Give specific reasons for v.1

Advances in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that nation interact with each other in a global society. Choose another technological innovation that you think is important. Give specific reasons for v. 1
Video recorders become a part of our daily routine in the modern society. We can notice them everywhere; in the streets, the schools, and even at the work. Yet the obligatory question is that if they actually can improve our lives or they are an invisible tool to hesitate our community. Regardless of the possible benefits of the video cameras, their negative effects are a crucial concern. One of the most obvious disadvantages is that how they decrease the individual's private space. To illustrate, anyone could record a video others without their permission, even more, this person could go further and post this video on the social media. Undoubtedly, this behaviour, not only, destroys the personal limits, but also, could lead to a scandal for some of the people. The worst is that sometimes the video cameras become a dysfunctional tool. For example, while the utilization of them should be a benefit to detect crime and criminals, a considerable amount of the society members holds their video camera to record a crime, ignoring the fact that they help to stop the crime is more valuable than the documentation the crime! On the contrary, the supports of the use of the video cameras refuse all these claims, illustrating that the misuse of them can not let us to ignore their several advantages. For example, using them enables people to record and save their special moments and memories. Besides that, they are a strong, substantial tool in the hand of policemen to achieve the justice. In conclusion, the video recorders have two sides of benefits and disadvantages. In my opinion, their negative effects outweigh their merits. Moreover, if we seek to a healthy, balanced community, we need serious procedures to restrict their unfavourable side of the program recorders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
recorders become a part of our daily routine in the modern society. We can notice them everywhere; in the streets, the schools, and even at the work.
Yet
the obligatory question is that if they actually can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives or
they are an invisible tool to hesitate our community.

Regardless of the possible benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
, their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects are a crucial concern. One of the most obvious disadvantages is that how they decrease the individual's private space. To illustrate, anyone could record a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "other"?
others
without their permission, even more, this person could go
further
and post this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
on the social media.
Undoubtedly
, this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the personal limits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, could lead to a scandal for
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The worst is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
become a dysfunctional tool.
For example
, while the utilization of them should be a benefit to detect crime and criminals, a considerable amount of the society members holds their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
to record a crime, ignoring the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the crime is more valuable than the documentation the crime!

On the contrary
, the supports of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
refuse all these claims, illustrating that the misuse of them can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their several advantages.
For example
, using them enables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to record and save their special moments and memories.
Besides
that, they are a strong, substantial tool in the hand of policemen to achieve the justice.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
recorders have two sides of benefits and disadvantages. In my opinion, their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects outweigh their merits.
Moreover
, if we seek to a healthy, balanced community, we need serious procedures to restrict their
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
side of the program recorders.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Advances in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that nation interact with each other in a global society. Choose another technological innovation that you think is important. Give specific reasons for v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts