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Adults nowadays are addicted to watching TV. What are the consequences of watching too much television? What can be done to address the issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Adults nowadays are addicted to watching TV. What are the consequences of watching too much television? What can be done to address the issue? 8gLV5
People in adulthood have, in this day and age, been facing up to a problem of an addiction to television. For that issue, there are various detrimental outcomes and efficient measures to tackle the problem. On the one hand, adults with TV addiction would be going to experience the two main consequences of personal relationships and their health. Firstly, excessive TV watching can cause damage to their relationships. The more time watching TV, the less time being with loved ones. This would lead to a breakdown in relationships with their children or parents. Secondly, you might spend less time being physically active if you watch a lot of TV. In fact, it is scientifically recommended that an adult should get around 30 minutes of exercise on a daily basis. If the adult’s TV viewing has become excessive, they may not have enough time to get in the daily recommended amount of exercise, which could produce the problem of passivity or lowered alertness. On the other hand, the problem can be solved by the two primary solutions including activity participation and doctor care. To begin with, grown-ups with a TV addiction should be distracted from watching by taking part in different activities. This means that they should participate in a club or play sports, rather than glue their eyes to the screen, which is more likely to help them gradually decrease the time spent on television. Furthermore, healthcare professional is of paramount importance to overcome this addiction. Doctors, for instance, can provide the addicts with useful advices and effective treatments, probably letting them steadily cut back on TV. In conclusion, due to the devastating effects on full-grown people, television addiction should be addressed by effective ways through joining activities or meeting a health professional.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in adulthood have, in this day and age, been facing up to a problem of an addiction to television. For that issue, there are various detrimental outcomes and efficient measures to tackle the problem.

On the one hand, adults with TV addiction would be going to experience the two main consequences of personal relationships and their health.
Firstly
, excessive TV watching can cause damage to their relationships. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. This would lead to a breakdown in relationships with their children or parents.
Secondly
, you might spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being
physically
active if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
TV. In fact, it is
scientifically
recommended that an adult should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around 30 minutes of exercise on a daily basis. If the adult’s TV viewing has become excessive, they may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the daily recommended amount of exercise, which could produce the problem of passivity or lowered alertness.

On the other hand
, the problem can
be solved
by the two primary solutions including activity participation and doctor care. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, grown-ups with a TV addiction should
be distracted
from watching by taking part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities. This means that they should participate in a club or play sports,
rather
than glue their eyes to the screen, which is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
gradually
decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on television.
Furthermore
, healthcare professional is of paramount importance to overcome this addiction. Doctors,
for instance
, can provide the addicts with useful advices and effective treatments,
probably
letting them
steadily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
back on TV.

In conclusion
, due to the devastating effects on full-grown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, television addiction should
be addressed
by effective ways through joining activities or meeting a health professional.
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IELTS essay Adults nowadays are addicted to watching TV. What are the consequences of watching too much television? What can be done to address the issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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