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"According to some people, prisoners should be made to do all the unpaid community work instead of just putting them behind bars.” How well do you agree with this statement?

"According to some people, prisoners should be made to do all the unpaid community work instead of just putting them behind bars. ” How well mWLxO
It is argued by some people that government should make use of prisoners to do unpaid work in the community. I completely agree with this opinion and think that prisoners must be helpful to the society. First of all, I believe that prisoners should be aware of social responsibility through which they can develop patriotism. punishment is not the main motto of the justice instead prisoners must realize their mistakes. If prisoners can get into the work in jail then definitely they will be aware of social responsibilities. For example, many studies states that a prisoner should be familiar with work rather than sitting alone in a dark prison which helps a person to keep away from the crime. That's why it's more important to give unpaid work to prisoner's that keeps them away from criminal ideology. Secondly, the crime rate in the country will be reduced. In other words, a prisoner will not come to the jail again since he is aware of the consequences to be faced in future. Once the crime rate is decreased, people in that country can get the security for their things and also a trust towards other individuals in the society. For instance, Supreme court of India decided to give unpaid work to prisoners that leads to downfall of crime rate about 30%. This impact leads to increase in the number of tourists visited for site seeing places. Thus, it is advantageous for the country to get a good reputation from tourists. To conclude, I strongly believe that unpaid work in the society should be done by the prisoner's since they can get responsibility and also crime rate in the country will be decreased eventually.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
to do unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the community. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be helpful to the society.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
should be aware of social responsibility through which they can develop patriotism.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
punishment
is not the main motto of the justice
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
realize their mistakes. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in jail then definitely they will be aware of social responsibilities.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies states that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoner
should be familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than sitting alone in a dark prison which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. That's why it's more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to give unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to prisoner's that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them away from criminal ideology.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
In other words
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoner
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the jail again since he is aware of the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
be faced
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is decreased
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the security for their things and
also
a trust towards other individuals in the society.
For instance
, Supreme court of India decided to give unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
that leads to downfall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
about 30%. This impact leads to increase in the number of tourists visited for site seeing places.
Thus
, it is advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation from tourists.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the society should
be done
by the prisoner's since they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
responsibility and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
be decreased
eventually
.
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IELTS essay "According to some people, prisoners should be made to do all the unpaid community work instead of just putting them behind bars. ” How well

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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