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According to a recent headline, “London bans 'unrealistic body images' from transport system

According to a recent headline, “London bans 'unrealistic body images' from transport system ew5BK
London city has banned unhealthy and unrealistic advertisements from it’s transportation system. In detail, advertisements that create extreme images of ideal bodiesys and may create body confidence issues are no longer permitted to be on the public transport system in London. Many people support this policy. First, this kind of advertisement may strike some people, especially women as offensive, and make them ashamed of their body. But there is no definition in the beauty of bodies and therefore, these offensive advertisements should be removed. Second, these advertisements often include too skinny body images, but they are unhealthy. And also people who have watched these types of images feel ashamed of their bodies by comparing theirs with extreme images on the ads, and sometimes try to do a rapid dieting. But such rapid dieting can cause serious health issues and is especially harmful for young people. Finally, too much obsession in one’s body may sometimes cause an eating disorder. This is certainly a serious problem as we can’t live without eating. Unfortunately, many famous people have died from this symptom. In spite of these negative effects that could be caused by inappropriate advertisements, some people say that banning certain types of advertisements is an infringement of the right to express. But I don’t think so, for the images these ads are creating are quite far away from reality and they are making people feel obnoxious and even harmful in many cases. Right of expression should be restricted in such cases. In conclusion, because of these reasons, I think London’s choice to ban all ads that include unrealistic body images from the transport system was right.
London city has banned unhealthy and unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
Did you mean "from its transportation"?
from it’s transportation
system. In detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that create extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
of ideal
Possible spelling mistake found.
bodiesys
and may create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
confidence issues are no longer permitted to be on the public transport system in London.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support this policy.
First
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
may strike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
women as offensive, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them ashamed of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is no definition in the beauty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
and
therefore
, these offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
be removed
. Second, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
include too skinny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are unhealthy. And
also
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people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
feel ashamed of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
by comparing theirs with extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
on the ads, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
try to do a rapid dieting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
such rapid dieting can cause serious health issues and is
especially
harmful for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Finally
, too much obsession in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cause an eating disorder. This is
certainly
a serious problem as we can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without eating. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
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people
have
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died
from this symptom.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that could
be caused
by inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that banning certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is an infringement of the right to express.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
these ads are creating are quite far away from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reality and
they are making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel obnoxious and even harmful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases. Right of expression should
be restricted
in such cases.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
London’s choice to ban all ads that include unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
from the transport system was right.
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IELTS essay According to a recent headline, “London bans 'unrealistic body images' from transport system

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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