Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

According to a number of people believes music

According to a number of people believes music pWB2
According to a number of people believes music, art, and drama are vital essential subjects in schools instead of other courses, albeit others not agree with this theory. In my opinion, these subjects are more critical than other school lessons. On one hand, Somehow disagree with the degree of importance of these arts are saying that these lessons are not significant abundance in early level in the school. Firstly, They believe other lessons like mathematics and biology are the principles of studying. Consequently, pupils should be spent more time on these subjects. Secondly, they suppose the harmful effect of less care on these lessons has directly affected the future of pupil. The outcome of this neglect will be they can find appropriate jobs in the future. For example, a plethora of jobs requires other skills and nobody cares about your knowledge in music, art, and drama. On the other hand, People consider that music, art, and drama are crucial and exactly in the early level of studying. First, learning these types of subjects is essential for mental health and will help pupils to learn efficiently other subjects. For example, music has always required relaxation and assistance in the learning process. Second is these activities are more comfortable to learn at the elementary level of study. By Less spending time at the first step of learning improving in the future will be difficult because young people can learn better than other ages. In conclusion, despite a number of disagreements such as the degree of importance and less care on other lessons, I strongly agree to care about music, art, and drama which help students have intact mental and the difficulty of learning in the future.
According to a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and drama are vital essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in schools
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
courses, albeit others not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this theory. In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more critical than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
school lessons.

On one hand, Somehow disagree with the degree of importance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are saying that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
are not significant abundance in early level in the school.
Firstly
, They believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
like mathematics and biology are the principles of studying.
Consequently
, pupils should
be spent
more time on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Secondly
, they suppose the harmful effect of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
has
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of pupil. The outcome of this neglect will be they can find appropriate jobs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For example
, a plethora of jobs requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and nobody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cares
about your knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and drama.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and drama are crucial and exactly in the early level of studying.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is essential for mental health and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils to learn
efficiently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has always required relaxation and assistance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process. Second is these activities are more comfortable to learn at the elementary level of study. By Less spending time at the
first
step of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
If 'learning' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to improve".
improving
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will be difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can learn better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ages.

In conclusion
, despite a number of disagreements such as the degree of importance and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and drama which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students have intact mental and the difficulty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay According to a number of people believes music

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts