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Accept bad situation or improve

Accept bad situation or improve r19MN
There are such controversial situations when you face predicaments in terms of lack of money or unsatisfactory job, some might accept it and others might undergo it. Sometimes It might be best to admit or it would be better to overcome. Well, it depends on the   circumstance. From the one side, some people thought fate will path the ways for them, they'll just follow it what life has given. They unlikely change their situations, it would be better to stay same. When they want to undergo with it, they have to take venture for it, maybe they're afraid of being left or quit from the original place, for example, even though their jobs earn less and they want to quit, they have to give time for applying new employment. During that moment, if they resign how could they for the bills and taxes. It might seems really problematic for them, so they acknowledge it and still being stable. On the other hand, some might make progress and escape from the striving. For them, to improve the situation is the best way of solution. As an example, Bill Gates and Ronaldo suffered an extreme poverty in their childhood. They took advantge of being poor experiences and endeavoured undauntedly and become into rags to riches. They've struggled a lot, consequently they're thriving now. From my perspective, when I encounter the difficulties, I would mitigate my worriedness and contemplate to solve for it. Sometimes, we have to take risk to undergo with the circumstance, it would be hard for a moment, then we'll fine. There's a speech "After the harsh storms, the rainbow will come out". In a conclusion, when you face the bad situation, annalyze it and make decision for it. Not all bad situations need to ignore or not all bad situations need to improve. Consider the situation well and figure out the best idea for it.
There are such controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
when you face predicaments in terms of lack of money or unsatisfactory job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
accept it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
undergo it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be best to admit or it would be better to overcome. Well, it depends on the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
circumstance.

From the one side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
fate will path the ways for them, they'll
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
follow it what life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. They unlikely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, it would be better to stay same. When they want to undergo with it, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take venture for it, maybe they're afraid of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
or quit from the original place,
for example
,
even though
their jobs earn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
less and
they want to quit, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give time for applying new employment. During that moment, if they resign how could they for the bills and taxes. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "seem"
seems
really
problematic for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they acknowledge it and
still
being stable.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress and escape from the striving. For them, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is the best way of solution. As an example, Bill Gates and Ronaldo suffered an extreme poverty in their childhood. They took
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantge
of being poor experiences and
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavoured' is British English.
endeavoured
undauntedly
and become into rags to riches. They've struggled a lot,
consequently
they're thriving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

From my perspective, when I encounter the difficulties, I would mitigate my
Possible spelling mistake found.
worriedness
and contemplate to solve for it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
The verb 'risk' is used with the gerund form: "risk undergoing".
risk to undergo
with the circumstance, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for a moment, then we'll fine. There's a speech
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
After the harsh storms, the rainbow will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

In a conclusion, when you face the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
annalyze
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision for it. Not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
or not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. Consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
well and figure out the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for it.
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IELTS essay Accept bad situation or improve

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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