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About Ronnie Coleman and his career

About Ronnie Coleman and his career RVlyo
Ronnie Coleman is a professional American bodybuilder. He is eight time mister Olympia and he won many other titles. He started his career as a martial artist. In 1990 he made his debut to the Mr. Olympia and he was placed 15th. And the coming 4 years he was not placed in top 10. Even then he didn't give up, he came back in 1996 and won his first Olympia. Since then he won eight years in a row. This is the record and the first person to win eight times in a row. As far as his physical characteristics are concerned he is 6 foot 1 inch and weights 300 pounds. He can squat up to 800 pounds for 2 reps ( regrets till today, he thinks he can do 5 reps ). He can deadlift 800 pounds for 2 reps and can leg press more than 2200 pounds ( unbelievable ). And he is an inspiration for many people.
Ronnie Coleman is a professional American bodybuilder. He is eight time mister
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Olympia and
he won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other titles. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his career as a martial artist. In
The comma is probably missing here: "1990, he".
1990 he
made his debut to the Mr.
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Olympia and
he
was placed
15th. And the coming 4 years he was not placed in top 10. Even then he didn't give up, he came back in 1996 and won his
first
Olympia.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
The comma is probably missing here: "then, he".
then he
won eight years in a row. This is the record and the
first
person to win eight times in a row.

As far as his physical characteristics
are concerned
he is 6 foot
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1 inch
and weights
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
300 pounds
. He can squat up to
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
800 pounds
for 2 reps
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
regrets till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
he can do 5 reps
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. He can
Possible spelling mistake found.
deadlift
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
800 pounds
for 2 reps and can leg press more than
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
2200 pounds
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
unbelievable
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.

And he is an inspiration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

IELTS essay About Ronnie Coleman and his career

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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