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A time when you encouraged somebody to do something that he/she didn’t want to do

A time when you encouraged somebody to do something that he/she didn’t want to do 3xNoX
Without doubt, good friends are especially important during times of crisis and turbulence. Today, I’m going to describe a time when I encouraged my best friend, Thao Linh, to overcome difficulties to achieve her parents’ long-held goal. We have known each other since high school and maintained this special bond till now. Thao Linh is a bright, carefree girl whose most special traits are a cheerful disposition and unflinching resilience. I remember ever since high school, Thao Linh has frequently been urged by her parents to try to win a prize in the National Contest for gifted students. Apparently, this is a cumbersome challenge for all students and Linh was so overwhelmed by the thought of failing that she could not concentrate on studying for the competition. In fact, she confided in me that as she was eliminated in the last round in grade 11th and had to wait for the next year- which was also her last chance. At that time, I was always beside Linh and I tried to tell her that things would become brighter and she was strong enough to confront such a challenge. Therefore, instead of being disappointed and demotivated, Linh displayed a firm commitment to try harder, not only for herself but also to meet her parents’ expectations. As a result, in grade 12, she made a substantial improvement and won a place in the school team for the National Contest and eventually won the second prize in the contest. Even though it was her who received the prize, I felt the same joy to have cheered her up and sailed her through both emotional and academic setbacks.
Without doubt,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends are
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
during times of crisis and turbulence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I’m going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
a time when I encouraged my best friend,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
, to overcome difficulties to achieve her parents’ long-held goal. We have known each other since high school and maintained this special bond till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh is
a bright, carefree girl whose most special traits are a cheerful disposition and unflinching resilience.

I remember ever since high school,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
has
frequently
been urged
by her parents to try to win a prize in the National Contest for gifted students.
Apparently
, this is a cumbersome challenge for all students and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
overwhelmed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of failing that she could not concentrate on studying for the competition. In fact, she confided in me that as she
was eliminated
in the last round in grade 11th and had to wait for the
next
year- which was
also
her last chance.

At that time, I was always beside
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
and I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
her that things would become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
brighter and
she was strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to confront such a challenge.
Therefore
,
instead
of
being disappointed
and demotivated,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
displayed a firm commitment to try harder, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for herself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
her parents’ expectations.
As a result
, in grade 12, she made a substantial improvement and won a place in the school team for the National Contest and
eventually
won the second prize in the contest.
Even though
it was her who received the prize, I felt the same joy to have cheered her up and sailed her through both emotional and academic setbacks.
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IELTS essay A time when you encouraged somebody to do something that he/she didn’t want to do

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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