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A survey had been conducting which shows that the over weight among people is increasing at a greater pace. What are the reasons behind that? What are the ways to control the increase in overweight?

A survey had been conducting which shows that the over weight among people is increasing at a greater pace. What are the reasons behind that? What are the ways to control the increase in overweight? 9QDMW
In today's scenario, the obesity is dramatically increasing at a greater pace. Number of people are suffering from a plethora of health problems due to being overweight is increasing. There are plenty of reasons and causes by which overweight is rising that are outlined at below. The escalation in the number of overweight people in the society. To begin with, the fast foods are the main ground behind the overweight. Today's youth is addicted toward it. They do not khow the value of healthy food. In addition, the lack of physical exercise results in the climb up of overweight among today's people. They are more attracted toward using mobile phones, staying indoor, sleeping for long hours and so on. This brings a serious challenge for the fatty people. Furthermore, the overweight among the people is also due to some medical problems. Not every individual is equal in the term of health. Some individuals have medical issues like sugar which have an adverse effect on it. Apart from this, several cures are there for prevention of being overweight. Firstly, everyone should rely upon healthy food. The fast food is too oily and had a great impact on health. This is also injurious for our liver and digestive system. Every person should have to reduce its consumption. In contrast, the physical exercises help everybody to become fit and fine. Humans can wake up early in the morning and go to grounds for a run or doing some exercises to stay healthier. Early morning workout is more effective than that of evenings. As there is not any type of air pollution in early mornings. The fresh air helps the citizens to stay away from various diseases and medical problems. Therefore, it should be necessary to have a look on our health and not to play with it. It is also said that ''health is wealth''. Everything is unworthy if we are not healthy.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's scenario, the obesity is
dramatically
increasing at a greater pace. Number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems due to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
is increasing. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons and causes by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
is rising that
are outlined
at below.

The escalation in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are the main ground behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's youth
is addicted
toward it. They do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
khow
the value of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
, the lack of physical exercise results in the climb up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They are more attracted toward using mobile phones, staying indoor, sleeping for long hours and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This brings a serious challenge for the fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
also
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical problems. Not every individual is equal in the term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals have medical issues like sugar which have an adverse effect on it.

Apart from this, several cures are there for prevention of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.
Firstly
, everyone should rely upon healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is too oily and had a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
also
injurious for our liver and digestive system. Every person should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its consumption.
In contrast
, the physical exercises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everybody to become fit and fine. Humans can wake up early in the morning and go to grounds for a run or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercises to stay healthier. Early morning workout is more effective than that of evenings.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
there is not any type of air pollution in early mornings. The fresh air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the citizens to stay away from various diseases and medical problems.

Therefore
, it should be necessary to have a look on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and not to play with it. It is
also
said that ''health is wealth''. Everything is unworthy if we are not healthy.
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IELTS essay A survey had been conducting which shows that the over weight among people is increasing at a greater pace. What are the reasons behind that? What are the ways to control the increase in overweight?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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