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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? A small town is a better place than a big city to raise children

A small town is a better place than a big city to raise children oEEEB
Children’s upbringing is a hotly debated topic that often divides opinion. While some people are in favor of raising them in a small town, the others are in the complete opposite. They prefer to have their children grow up in big cities. Personally, I agree with the second idea that children should be raised in an urban area. This essay will address the reasons for my view. The first reason for this is because kids will receive better health protection in developing areas. The medical system is 24/7 operated with cutting-edge technology, modern infrastructures, and professional medical personnel to meet up with the vast majority’s requirement of getting immediate, conclusive treatment. As such, children are facilitated to develop both physically and mentally. Whereas, in most of the small towns, the medical system faces a shortage of necessities, medical equipment due to economic difficulty. As a result, many children have died because of the fatal fact that their parents usually have to move from such a far distance to reach the hospital. In addition to the reason above, I also believe that kids will receive a greater education. Children are made easier to get proper education and thus early adapt to the hectic living and working environment. For instance, there are a number of international schools, prestigious institutions, accredited academies that allow them to keep progressing in their pursuit of an advanced education system. Children will seize the oppỏtunity to be well-oriented in their careers and obtain a clearer perspective of what self-image they are building. Whereas, it’s more challenging for them to thrive in their learning due to not exposing to practical situations and not receiving up-to-date education, For these reasons, I’d support that raising children in big cities brings undeniable advantages regarding getting better health protection and education system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
upbringing is a
hotly
debated topic that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
divides opinion. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in favor of raising them in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town, the others are in the complete opposite. They prefer to have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be raised
in an urban area. This essay will address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my view.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
kids will receive better health protection in developing areas. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is 24/7 operated with cutting-edge technology, modern infrastructures, and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
personnel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with the vast majority’s requirement of getting immediate, conclusive treatment. As such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are facilitated
to develop both
physically
and mentally. Whereas, in most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
faces a shortage of necessities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment due to economic difficulty.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fatal fact that their parents
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from such a far distance to reach the hospital.

In addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
above, I
also
believe that kids will receive a greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are made
easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
thus
early adapt to the hectic living and working environment.
For instance
, there are a number of international schools, prestigious institutions, accredited academies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
progressing in their pursuit of an advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will seize the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppỏtunity
to be well-oriented in their careers and obtain a clearer perspective of what self-image they are building. Whereas, it’s more challenging for them to thrive in their learning due to not exposing to practical situations and not receiving up-to-date education,

For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I’d support that raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities brings undeniable advantages regarding getting better health protection and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
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IELTS essay A small town is a better place than a big city to raise children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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