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A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and for other household uses

A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and for other household uses GNM7m
Nowadays, all over the world are facing a serious problem is the lack of water for household uses. There are various reasons behind this phenomenon and also some solutions. So, I will discuss both in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are various causes of lack of water in all over the world. Firstly, some people are using water uselessly and they do not know about the value of water. Secondly, in salad days, population of the world has rapidly increased in the comparison of past which causes water consumption would be increased. Thirdly, this is the main cause of lack of water that is water population because direct of raw sewage from factories entering the river and it contains chemical which is harmful for us. On the other hand, there are some solutions to reduce of water shortages. First of all, government should water change at a higher price because people will be aware of the higher amount of water then they are using water as a right way. Moreover, government also takes strictly rules for factories because then water source will be protected from harmful chemicals. All in all, every situation can be conquered with optimum solution. So, government as well as public must be taken seriously otherwise we will face many problems in future
Nowadays, all over the world are facing a serious problem is the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
. There are various reasons behind this phenomenon and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will discuss both in upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are various causes of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in all over the world.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
uselessly and
they do not know about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Secondly
, in salad days, population of the world has
rapidly
increased in the comparison of past which causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption would
be increased
.
Thirdly
, this is the main cause of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
direct of raw sewage from factories entering the river and it contains chemical which is harmful for us.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
shortages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
at a higher price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be aware of the higher amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
then they are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
as a right way.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
takes
strictly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for factories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
source will
be protected
from harmful chemicals.

All in all, every situation can
be conquered
with optimum solution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
seriously
otherwise
we will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in future
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IELTS essay A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and for other household uses

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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