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In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. with this statement? GO9g
Nowadays, there are different concerns in human life. One of them is about teaching for students in nations which having a high unemployment rate. Some people believe that offering secondary education to the children is hopeless and wasteful. In my view, I party disagree with the view given. My essay will explain a number of reason for this idea. Firstly, secondary school helps children broaden their vision and thinking. It is the foundation of generating ideas and innovations. Primary education only teaches pupils literacy skills, numeracy skills and common knowledge with little analysis and evaluation. However, in secondary schools. Students have the chance to study different subjects in depth with reasonings. They are encourged to discover their strengths and interests to find their path in life. No two children are the same. Therefore, children need more guidance to learn about themselves and others, to fully develop their personality, to learn fundamental knowledge and skills, and develop problem solving and critical thinking skills. Only then, students can decide who they want to become in the future. Some of them can even create new jobs for the society. Secondly, puberty is an important stage in life for people. It is when youngsters need guidance most and school is a safe place for adolescents to learn about themselves. A person whitout good teachers is like a boat without a compass. Life will be harsh for them if they work too carly. They will not be able to deal with other people to innovate and strive for success. There are more and more machines replacing people at work, hence, people must learn to strive and outperform those machines to secure a job. In conclusion, there are more requirements before entering the workplace besides being able to read and write. Therefore, secondary education is essential for everyone, especially places with high unemployment rate.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
concerns in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. One of them is about teaching for students in nations which having a high unemployment rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
education to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is hopeless and wasteful. In my view, I party disagree with the view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. My essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
a number of reason for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
broaden their vision and thinking. It is the foundation of generating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and innovations. Primary education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teaches pupils literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, numeracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and common knowledge with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
analysis and evaluation.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
schools. Students have the chance to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects in depth with
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonings
. They are
Possible spelling mistake found.
encourged
to discover their strengths and interests to find their path in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. No two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the same.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need more guidance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
, to
fully
develop their personality, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
fundamental knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and develop problem solving and critical thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then, students can decide who they want to become in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them can even create new jobs for the society.

Secondly
, puberty is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is when youngsters need guidance most and school is a safe place for adolescents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about themselves. A person
Possible spelling mistake found.
whitout
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teachers is like a boat without a compass.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
will be harsh for them if they work too
Possible spelling mistake found.
carly
. They will not be able to deal with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to innovate and strive for success. There are more and more machines replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at work,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to strive and outperform those machines to secure a job.

In conclusion
, there are more requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the workplace
besides
being able to read and write.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
education is essential for everyone,
especially
places with high unemployment rate.
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IELTS essay In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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