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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.21

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 21
In modern society, affluent people are more respected these days. However, I believe having an amusing personality, a kind-heart and being trustworthy is more significant. These days, contemporary society is highly influenced by celebrities, who drive expensive cars, wear branded clothes and own a mansion. However, they are the ones who are drug addicts and abuse their bodies in different ways. Happiness which is directly dependent on materialism does not last long because these needs are never ending. Consequently, these humankind never get a sense of fulfillment, also never grateful for what they already have, this leads to depression and anxiety. For instance, A study published in The Times newspaper shows that 73% of famous public-faces go through anti depression treatment at least once in a lifetime. Thus, judgements based on someone's possessions are often incorrect. Also for building good business relations, trust is vital and considered important by organisations before signing any deal. Moreover, money cannot buy everything, for example a good character or healthy relationships. While choosing friends or a life partner their personality traits are highly significant because no one can stay happy with an arrogant or negative personality. A survey published in a well-known magazine demonstrates that people who are intrigued by money are often depressed and lead an unhappy life. In conclusion, It is true that our community is getting highly influenced by rich and famous celebrities. Nevertheless, I opine that money does not guarantee a good character or solid relationships. Hence, we should still consider our conventional values to be more important.
In modern society, affluent
people
are more respected these days.
However
, I believe having an amusing personality, a kind-heart and being trustworthy is more significant.

These days, contemporary society is
highly
influenced by celebrities, who drive expensive cars, wear branded clothes and
own
a mansion.
However
, they are the ones who are drug addicts and abuse their bodies in
different
ways. Happiness which is
directly
dependent on materialism does not last long
because
these needs are never ending.
Consequently
,
these humankind
never
get
a sense of fulfillment,
also
never grateful for what they already have, this leads to depression and anxiety.
For instance
, A study published in The Times newspaper
shows
that 73% of
famous
public-faces go through anti depression treatment at least once in a lifetime.
Thus
, judgements based on someone's possessions are
often
incorrect.

Also
for building
good
business relations, trust is vital and considered
important
by
organisations
before
signing any deal.
Moreover
, money cannot
buy
everything,
for example
a
good
character or healthy relationships. While choosing friends or a life partner their personality traits are
highly
significant
because
no one can stay happy with an arrogant or
negative
personality. A survey published in a well-known magazine demonstrates that
people
who
are intrigued
by money are
often
depressed and lead an unhappy life.

In conclusion
, It is true that our community is getting
highly
influenced by rich and
famous celebrities
.
Nevertheless
, I opine that money does not guarantee a
good
character or solid relationships.
Hence
, we should
still
consider our conventional values to be more
important
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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