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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? 1BEX
There are two opinions whether marketing strategy works on people or not. The one idea suggests that people are influenced by advertisements and thus leads them to purchase things. The other point of view disagrees that such methods does not work on society since the media environment is filled with loads of advertisements. In my opinion, people are still too impacted by all these tricks and keep going shopping after watching or hearing another promotion. The main argument for supporting the first idea is in the today trends. More and more consumer habits interfere to people’s daily life and it became absolutely natural to buy as much products as you can. For instance, the sales in shops often offer the customers such conditions, where they can benefit only by buying more than any average person need for good life. A person cannot buy only one bottle of water by lower price, it is required to buy six or even more bottles in order to have a real discount. So the man starts to think it is essential amount of water to live and with it he can reach success in life. The promotion produces the atmosphere of global consumerism. Oh the other hand, the point that people do not pay attention to advertisement around them also has a right to exist. There are a lot of people who ignore their one-second desires and marketing strategies do not work on them. They have well-developed critical thinking and know how to stay focused on the real needs instead of staring at promotion on the wall and rushing to the mall after. For such individuals the statement of non-working advertisements is applicable. To conclude, both view that promotions catch people’s attention and drive them to the shops and the opposite side have their arguments to be valid ideas. But for me the first opinion looks more convenient and common.
There are two opinions whether marketing strategy works on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or not. The one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and
thus
leads them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things. The other point of view disagrees that such methods does not work on society since the media environment
is filled
with loads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
too impacted by all these tricks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going shopping after watching or hearing another promotion.

The main argument for supporting the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
trends. More and more consumer habits interfere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life and it became
absolutely
natural to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
as
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
products as you can.
For instance
, the sales in shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
offer the customers such conditions, where they can benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by buying more than any average person need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life. A person cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one bottle of water by lower price, it
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
six or even more bottles in order to have a real discount.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is essential amount of water to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and with
Consider adding a comma here.
it
he can reach success in life. The promotion produces the atmosphere of global consumerism.

Interjections are usually punctuated.
Oh
the other hand, the point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
around them
also
has a right to exist. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their one-second desires and marketing strategies do not work on them. They have well-developed critical thinking and know how to stay focused on the real needs
instead
of staring at promotion on the wall and rushing to the mall after. For such individuals the statement of non-working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is applicable.

To conclude
, both view that promotions catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention and drive them to the shops and the opposite side have their arguments to be valid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for me the
first
opinion looks more convenient and common.
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IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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