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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. xXEN
It is more vital that teenagers should take part in outdoor sporting events rather than spending time on gaming consoles. This essay agrees with this statement because this trend will help children to have a fit body and playing sports will make them a better human being. Firstly, outdoor activities are physically demanding and when teenagers engage themselves in these events, this will make them physically healthy. This is because taking part in outdoor events strengthen their bones and muscles. Therefore, it leads to children having a life free from diseases, such as for overweight. T illustroate, a recent study by Cambridge University found that children who take part in sporting events are more likely to live a healthy life than who do not. Secondly, playing outdoor games will make children a better overall person when they become adults. This is because while playing in group games teenagers learn different traits like leadership, coordination and cooperation. These skills will help them in the later stages of life when they will be required to work in as a team at the workplace. These skills cannot be learned by children who play video games only. For example, in the US, it is mandatory for all students to take part in outdoor games because authorities believe that teenagers become better citizens on playing outdoor games like football, baseball. In conclusion, it is very important that children must take part in outdoor games because this will make them physically strong and children are more likely to become good persons.
It is more vital that
teenagers
should take
part
in
outdoor
sporting
events
rather
than spending time on gaming consoles. This essay
agrees
with this statement
because
this trend will
help
children
to have a fit body and
playing
sports will
make
them a better human being.

Firstly
,
outdoor
activities are
physically
demanding and when
teenagers
engage themselves in these
events
, this will
make
them
physically
healthy. This is
because
taking
part
in
outdoor
events
strengthen their bones and muscles.
Therefore
, it leads to
children
having a life free from diseases, such as for overweight. T
illustroate
, a recent study by Cambridge University found that
children
who take
part
in sporting
events
are more likely to
live
a healthy life than
who
do not.

Secondly
,
playing
outdoor
games
will
make
children
a better
overall
person when they become adults. This is
because
while
playing
in group
games
teenagers
learn
different
traits like leadership, coordination and cooperation. These
skills
will
help
them in the later stages of life when they will
be required
to work in as a team at the workplace. These
skills
cannot
be learned
by
children
who play video
games
only
.
For example
, in the US, it is mandatory for all students to take
part
in
outdoor
games
because
authorities believe that
teenagers
become better citizens on
playing
outdoor
games
like football, baseball.

In conclusion
, it is
very
important
that
children
must
take
part
in
outdoor
games
because
this will
make
them
physically
strong and
children
are more likely to become
good
persons.
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IELTS essay Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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