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A Personal statement between 500-1000 words telling us why you wish to study your chosen course. Discuss why your skills, qualities and experience will allow you to be in successfully in completing the course. Discuss what you hope to do after you graduate with M.Sc.

A Personal statement between 500-1000 words telling us why you wish to study your chosen course. Discuss why your skills, qualities and experience will allow you to be in successfully in completing the course. Discuss what you hope to do after you graduate with M. Sc. 2lwpA
Data science courses are very popular now-a-days and they are growing very fast. Big companies like Google, Amazon and other companies are hiring people to manage their huge data. This field is very interesting if you love data organizing. I am interested in data science and I am very good in analysing and managing data. I want to become a data scientist so I decided to apply for a masters here in Strathclyde university. I am a Mum of a 4-year child. I left my job when I was Pregnant. I took care of my boy and my family and now my kid started his nursery and settled there so I decided to complete my masters here. I completed my high school and intermediate in mathematics and I have working knowledge of Statistics, Python, Linux and SQL. I also have 4-year working experience in a software company in Delhi(India). I did work there on banking applications and supported some websites too. I am fulfilling the requirement because you should have a background of mathematics, computer science and statistics for data science. I will surely complete the course without any problem and If I feel any trouble related to my studies I would never hesitate to ask my seniors/professors. I am good at communication and I can share my aspect with others. I can dance and sing Indian music. I want to work with Google as a data scientist so as soon as I complete my masters I am going to apply in google because that is my first preference. I like the environment of Google and I want to learn some good and new working strategies. I met people who were working in Google. They were pretty happy about the environment and work-life balance. As I mentioned earlier, I am a married woman and I have a son so it would be good for me. I checked online and found your university won so many awards and I want to learn in a good college who can teach me in a correct way and who can challenge my learning skills. I will be grateful if you accept my application. Thank you.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
courses are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
now-a-days and
they are growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Google, Amazon and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are hiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to manage their huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. This field is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
organizing.

I
am interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
science and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
The usual preposition for this expression is "at". Did you mean, "good at analysing"?
good in analysing
and managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
scientist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to apply for
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a master" or simply "masters"?
a masters
here in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Strathclyde
university.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am a Mum of a 4-year child.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my job when I was Pregnant.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
took care of my boy and my family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
my kid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his nursery and settled there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to complete my masters here.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
completed my high school and intermediate in mathematics and I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
knowledge of Statistics, Python, Linux and SQL.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
have 4-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience in a software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Delhi(India).
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
did work there on banking applications and supported
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites too.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am fulfilling the requirement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you should have a background of mathematics, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and statistics for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will
surely
complete the course without any problem and If I feel any trouble related to my studies I would never hesitate to ask my seniors/professors.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at communication and I can share my aspect with others.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
can dance and sing Indian music.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to work with Google as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
scientist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I complete my masters I am going to apply in google
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
my
first
preference.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
like the environment of Google and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
strategies.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
met
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in Google. They were pretty happy about the environment and work-life balance. As I mentioned earlier, I am a married woman and I have a son
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for me.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
online and found your university won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
awards and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to learn in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
college who can teach me
Consider replacing "in a correct way" with the adverb for "correct"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a correct way
and who can challenge my learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I will be grateful if you accept my application. Thank you.
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IELTS essay A Personal statement between 500-1000 words telling us why you wish to study your chosen course. Discuss why your skills, qualities and experience will allow you to be in successfully in completing the course. Discuss what you hope to do after you graduate with M. Sc.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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