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many people feel strongly that healthservicesshouldbe provided by the government and should be freely available. Others argue that only privatized health care can provide good quality health services. To what extent do you believe that health and medical servicesshould be privatized? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words (5 marks) Aa

many people feel strongly that healthservicesshouldbe provided by the government and should be freely available. Others argue that only privatized health care can provide good quality health services. (5 marks) Aa BaR55
Some people believe that a government should provide free treatments and health care to its residents. To a certain point, I would agree with the idea, but I also believe that when the healthcare service is owned and run by some bunch of money-makers, the need of patients is highly responded to. For several reasons, many people believe that education and healthcare should be funded by the government and offered to the citizens without any cost. To begin with, most people fulfill their tax obligations, and they should get some benefits from the government in the form of free medication for their children. When financial incentives are provided to parents, children from any economic background gain access to health facilities. As a result, they’re spared from numerous diseases enabling them to lead a healthier life and contribute to the development of society. Besides, governments should encourage private organizations to invest in medical systems because privately funded hospitals can handle unfavorable situations and offer resources that public health care systems cannot afford to. For example, public medical centers struggle to offer high-quality care when they are overloaded with patients. Meanwhile, private hospitals are financially well-supported, so they can open up branches in a multitude of areas and serve a greater number of people than public hospitals can handle. Thanks to local private clinics, residents of rural and mountainous areas can easily access health care without needing to travel long distances to central hospitals. Secondly, private hospitals have the money to provide patients with more and technologically advanced choices when they are seeking medical care, whereas public hospitals can only supply limited options because of their low budgets. All in all, private hospitals can present patients with amenities that public hospitals cannot. To conclude, to a certain extent, I support that a government should provide free education and medication to its citizens. But I also believe privately owned hospitals can offer benefits that public hospitals cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide free treatments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to its residents. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that when the healthcare service is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
and run by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bunch of money-makers, the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
is
highly
responded to. For several reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that education and healthcare should
be funded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and offered to the citizens without any cost. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fulfill their tax obligations, and they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the form of free medication for their children. When financial incentives
are provided
to parents, children from any economic background gain access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities.
As a result
, they’re spared from numerous diseases enabling them to lead a healthier life and contribute to the development of society.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
organizations to invest in medical systems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
privately
funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
can handle unfavorable situations and offer resources that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
systems cannot afford to.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
medical centers struggle to offer high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
when they
are overloaded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are
financially
well-supported,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can open up branches in a multitude of areas and serve a greater number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
can handle. Thanks to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
clinics, residents of rural and mountainous areas can
easily
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
without needing to travel long distances to central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
have the money to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
with more and
technologically
advanced choices when they are seeking medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supply limited options
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their low budgets. All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
can present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
with amenities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
cannot.
To conclude
, to a certain extent, I support that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide free education and medication to its citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
can offer benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cannot
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IELTS essay many people feel strongly that healthservicesshouldbe provided by the government and should be freely available. Others argue that only privatized health care can provide good quality health services. (5 marks) Aa

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • many people feel strongly that healthservicesshouldbe provided by the government and should be freely available. Others argue that only privatized health care can provide good quality health services. To what extent do you believe that health and medical servicesshould be privatized? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words (5 marks) Aa