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A Nice Day with my Friends in the Desert

A Nice Day with my Friends in the Desert QlemK
One day my friends and I decided to go to the desert. We took everything that we needed for this trip like food, a power bank, and games. When we arrived, we found an area to set there. Then we cooked our lunch. It was a beautiful area, so we enjoyed seeing the sunset there. At night the weather was too cold, and we didn’t take any blanket or heater. We tried to make something to generate heat for us. One of my friends collected some wood, then we burned it. We kept playing until midnight. Finally, we decided to return to our houses. It was a nice day.
One day my friends and I decided to go to the desert. We took everything that we needed for this trip like food, a power bank, and games. When we arrived, we found an area to set there. Then we cooked our lunch. It was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we enjoyed seeing the sunset there. At night the weather was too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, and we didn’t take any blanket or heater. We tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
something to generate heat for us. One of my friends collected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wood, then we burned it. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
playing until midnight.
Finally
, we decided to return to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. It was a nice day.
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IELTS essay A Nice Day with my Friends in the Desert

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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