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A dramatic trend in many developed nations is the ageing of the population, with the growing number of people older than retirement age. This situation can lead to problems affecting the whole community. Outline the cause and effects of this issue and offer possible solutions v.2

A dramatic trend in many developed nations is the ageing of the population, with the growing number of people older than retirement age. This situation can lead to problems affecting the whole community. Outline the cause and effects of this issue and offer possible solutions v. 2
It is certainly true that people’s age is going up with the development of the world. The increased longevity of humans leads to significant problems for individuals and our society, however, we can implement various methods to deal with these problems. The growing number of older people results in financial pressures on young people in the reality. Governments have to reduce their spending on other sectors such as: education, infrastructure and economic investment because of raising welfare funds. Moreover, there is an increase in retired people who will receive a pension that brings about strongly effects on the national budget. Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults means that smaller working population. They also have a heavier tax burden and responsibilities to look after their elderly relatives. In order to resolve these difficulties, we can adopt many effective ways. The retirement age should be raised that the government could cut the budget of national pensions. Authorities should spend more money on programs studying advanced medical techniques to help older people can work for longer at low costs. On the other hand, governments may also encourage people have more children to increase the percentage of working population. Reducing the migration restrictions is alternative method to raise the national human resources. In summary, increasing the average life expectancy puts considerable pressures on a community and individuals. Governments should face an aging population by having more adults workers and reduce unhealthy conditions. If these measures are taken, I believe that the increase of retired people will have less impact in most developed countries.
It is
certainly
true that
people’s
age is going up with the development of the world. The increased longevity of humans leads to significant problems for individuals and our society,
however
, we can implement various methods to deal with these problems.

The growing number of older
people
results in financial pressures on young
people
in the reality.
Governments
have to
reduce
their spending on other sectors such as: education, infrastructure and economic investment
because
of raising welfare funds.
Moreover
, there is an increase in retired
people
who will receive a pension that brings about
strongly
effects on the national budget. Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults means that smaller working population. They
also
have a heavier tax burden and responsibilities to look after their elderly relatives.

In order to resolve these difficulties, we can adopt
many
effective ways. The retirement age should
be raised
that the
government
could
cut
the budget of national pensions. Authorities should spend more money on programs studying advanced medical techniques to
help
older
people
can work for longer at low costs.
On the other hand
,
governments
may
also
encourage
people
have more children to increase the percentage of working population. Reducing the migration restrictions is alternative method to raise the national human resources.

In summary, increasing the average life expectancy puts considerable pressures on a community and individuals.
Governments
should face an aging population by having more adults workers and
reduce
unhealthy conditions. If these measures
are taken
, I believe that the increase of retired
people
will have less impact in most
developed countries
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A dramatic trend in many developed nations is the ageing of the population, with the growing number of people older than retirement age. This situation can lead to problems affecting the whole community. Outline the cause and effects of this issue and offer possible solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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