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A memorable day that i remember until i die

A memorable day that i remember until i die ORKb7
Our lives are full of days and events, some days will be happy, full of good and joy that will bring joy to our hearts, and remain firmly in the heart forever. There are many beautiful days in my life. One of the best days of my life was when my father surprised me with a gift on my five-year-old birthday. When I opened it, I found a very cool bike of black and red bike. I couldn't prevent myself from jumping because of joy. I can still remember when I rode my first bike as if it happened yesterday. However, it was actually 13 years ago but this day is a very memorable day to me because I felt a lot of feelings, and I cannot forget it. In the evening, my dad and I got out of the house, we went to the playground near our house to ride a bike. As soon as we got there, my father taught me how to ride a bike first. I was so excited, but I was a little bit afraid to ride. And so, he told me to relax. Then, I got on my bike and made an effort to ride it. When it was moving, I was so happy to die. Later on, dad released the bike and let me ride alone. Then, I lost my balance and fell down and hurt myself. But I didn't give up and I rode again as my father taught. Fortunately, I was okay that time and it was so amazing. Later, I went back home by riding the bike and I told mom that I could ride the bike at the same time she was so proud of me. And she applied some cream to my wound but I almost forgot to hurt. This was the first time I rode a bicycle, it was so exciting and I really enjoyed it. It was also challenging for me to cope but I succeeded. I always remember that day whenever I ride a bike or see a bike. Mostly, when I see the view that dads are teaching their children to ride a bike. It is one of the memorable days I'll always remember.
Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are full of days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days will be happy, full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and joy that will bring joy to our hearts, and remain
firmly
in the heart forever. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
days in my life. One of the best days of my life was when my father surprised me with a gift on my five-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
birthday. When I opened it, I found a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
of black and red
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
. I couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
myself from jumping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of joy.

I can
still
remember when I rode my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
as if it happened yesterday.
However
, it was actually 13 years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this day is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
memorable day to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
feelings, and I cannot forget it. In the evening, my dad and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, we went to the playground near our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
a bike.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
there, my father taught me how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
first
. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
afraid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me to relax. Then,

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
and made an effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
it. When it was moving, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. Later on, dad released the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
alone. Then, I lost my balance and fell down and hurt myself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I didn't give up and I rode again as my father taught.
Fortunately
, I was okay that time and it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
amazing. Later, I went back home by riding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
mom that I could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
at the same time she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
proud of me. And she applied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cream to my wound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I almost forgot to hurt.

This was the
first
time I rode a bicycle, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exciting and I
really
enjoyed it. It was
also
challenging for me to cope
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I succeeded. I always remember that day whenever I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
.
Mostly
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the view that dads are teaching their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
. It is one of the memorable days I'll always remember.
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IELTS essay A memorable day that i remember until i die

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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