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A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of who raises their children better between men and women.

A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of who raises their children better between men and women. b3m5Q
A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of who raises their children better between men and women. While some people claim that the mother plays a more significant role in upbringing their children in most communities, other people consider that father is also good at taking this role. As far as I am concerned, men and women have equal roles in raising their children. There are several compelling reasons why females exert a significant effect on their children. First of all, a mother is one of the first people who have a strong bond with her children from birth. Therefore, from childhood, a mother is considered as a person who has multiple huge responsibilities for teaching her children’s behavior and character traits. Furthermore, their children always regard their mother as a best friend when they have troubles or familiar conversations. Nonetheless, a mother is a really vital leverage point for their life. In addition, a father is the breadwinner of the family and contributes majorly to his children's financial assistance. As a result, men would meet multiple demands and assist with money issues for developing talents and performances of their children. Moreover, fathers are often a source of inspiration for children on how to be a strong and better person in life. This helps them to grow as better and responsible citizens in the future. In conclusion, I consider that both men and women may indeed be good parents and take responsibility for their children. It is essential to share responsibility as much as it is to share the love.
A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of who raises their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
plays a more significant role in upbringing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in most communities, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that father is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at taking this role. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women have equal roles in raising their children.

There are several compelling reasons why females exert a significant effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is one of the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a strong bond with her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from birth.
Therefore
, from childhood, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is considered
as a person who has multiple huge responsibilities for teaching her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior and character traits.
Furthermore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always regard their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
as
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best friend when they have troubles or familiar conversations. Nonetheless, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is a
really
vital leverage point for their life.

In addition
, a father is the breadwinner of the family and contributes
majorly
to his children's financial assistance.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
multiple demands and assist with money issues for developing talents and performances of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, fathers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a source of inspiration for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on how to be a strong and better person in life. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to grow as better and responsible citizens in the future.

In conclusion
, I consider that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women may
indeed
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parents and take responsibility for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is essential to share responsibility as much as it is to share the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
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IELTS essay A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of who raises their children better between men and women.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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