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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the tourism in the morden world

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the tourism in the morden world 7a5j2
In this modern era, many places developed for tourism spots. Hence, a plenty of areas in the world depends on the tourism as a crucial part of their remuneration. However, the tourism is not managed correctly, it can cause the drawbacks. Before reaching to any conclusion the positives and negatives of the given notation will be elaborate further in the following paragraphs. Glancing on the brighter side, tourist places are developed by the people whose wages are depend on the tourism. Firstly, tourism developed widely in specific places by adding extra facilities for visitors which takes money from them. Moreover, tourists fee for the place gives the benifit towards the tourism. Hence, it becomes an essential factor for income of tourism. Secondly, tourism managed correctly by the authorities give the opportunities in the employment at the tourist places, which can easily increase their daily wages. To illustrate, in India, recently, several people involved in the tourism activities such as horse riding, photography section as well as selling their products in the specific tourist places. Glimpsing on the darker side, the tourism are not managed in the right way, it gives major demerits on the tourism. Primarily, humans are started to avoid visiting the tourist place which have large amount of charges on their inappropriate facilities, to examplify, in several countries, due to the lack of facilities and high charges, the development of tourism declined. Moreover, tourism can harm the environment by cut down the trees for their additional development which gives a detrimental impact on human-beings. To recapitulate, several places depend on the tourism for their income sources. However this phenomenon gives an advantages as well as disadvantages impacts on the human for their well-beings in tourism services.
In this modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
developed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
spots.
Hence
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of areas in the world depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as a crucial part of their remuneration.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is not managed
correctly
, it can cause the drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
reaching to any conclusion the positives and negatives of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notation will be elaborate
further
in the following paragraphs.

Glancing on the brighter side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are developed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose wages are
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
developed
widely
in specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
by adding extra facilities for visitors which takes money from them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
fee for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Hence
, it becomes an essential factor for income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
managed
correctly
by the authorities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the opportunities in the employment at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, which can
easily
increase their daily wages. To illustrate, in India, recently, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
activities such as horse riding, photography section
as well
as selling their products in the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
places.

Glimpsing on the darker side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are not managed in the right way, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
major demerits on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Primarily
, humans are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to avoid visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which have large amount of charges on their inappropriate facilities, to
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, in several countries, due to the lack of facilities and high charges, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
declined.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can harm the environment by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the trees for their additional development which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a detrimental impact on human-beings.

To recapitulate, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
for their income sources.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this phenomenon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an advantage" or simply "advantages"?
an advantages
as well
as disadvantages impacts on the human for their well-beings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
services.
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IELTS essay A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the tourism in the morden world

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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