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A lot of people spend a major part of their adult life at work, so job satisfaction is very important for individual happiness. What are the main factors that contribute to job satisfaction? What are the possible solutions for people who are unsatisfied w v.1

A lot of people spend a major part of their adult life at work, so job satisfaction is very important for individual happiness. What are the main factors that contribute to job satisfaction? What are the possible solutions for people who are unsatisfied w v. 1
In today's era, children are more impacted by famous personalities. People claim that, celebrities are followed more for a fashion and money than their intelligence. This essay will argue, why young ones are impacted and how it creates a wrong influence on them. Celebrities have a great influence on the younger ones. Social media plays a vital role to make an ordinary individual turning into a famous personality over night helps to make them look extraordinary. No matter what, if the person lacks any talent, but exceptionally good at showing off money will get famous soon. For example, a rich person can post a video of riding of his/her latest Tesla car on Instagram and that video will be liked by millions of people around the world, that's how they get recognised. Overall, young generation is easily attracted to a materialistic world rather than admiring actual efforts. Despite celebrities being highly followed they leave a negative impact on the minds of young ones. Children try to imitate them in every sense, moreover, they desire to be one of them in a mere future, which directly impact their career in the initial stage of education. Also, they devote precious time on copying them instead of focusing on their studies. For instance, children try to maintain glamour by wearing same clothes and making videos to the perfection, which impacts their interest in homework. In short, young generation is easily bullied by the fake world without thinking the negative aspects. This essay argued that younger individuals are mesmerized by the spark of famous personalities ignoring their hard work and talent. In my opinion, it is rightly said that children are more attracted towards celebrities because of their looks and richness than their skills.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more impacted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
claim that, celebrities
are followed
more for a fashion and money than their intelligence. This essay will argue, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are impacted
and how it creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
influence on them.

Celebrities have a great influence on the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Social media plays a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an ordinary individual turning into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personality
Did you mean the adjective or adverb "overnight" (i.e., for or during the entire night)?
over night
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them look extraordinary. No matter what, if the person lacks any talent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
exceptionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at showing off money will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
For example
, a rich person can post a video of riding of his/her latest Tesla car on Instagram and that video will
be liked
by millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world, that's how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is
easily
attracted to a materialistic world
rather
than admiring actual efforts.

Despite celebrities being
highly
followed they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
try to imitate them in every sense,
moreover
, they desire to be one of them in a mere future, which
directly
impact their career in the initial stage of education.
Also
, they devote precious time on copying them
instead
of focusing on their studies.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to maintain glamour by wearing same clothes and making videos to the perfection, which impacts their interest in homework. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is
easily
bullied by the fake world without thinking the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

This essay argued that younger individuals
are mesmerized
by the spark of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities ignoring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and talent. In my opinion, it is
rightly
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more attracted towards celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their looks and richness than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay A lot of people spend a major part of their adult life at work, so job satisfaction is very important for individual happiness. What are the main factors that contribute to job satisfaction? What are the possible solutions for people who are unsatisfied w v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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