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A lot of children nowadays are getting overweight. Dicuss the effects and causes of this

A lot of children nowadays are getting overweight. Dicuss the effects and causes of this J0q5e
The trend of getting too much weight in Western children has increased by nearly 20% in the last ten years. Nowadays, people neither care about which type of food their kids eat nor the amount of sugar they consume. This essay will discuss various causes and effects of this development on individuals and society. To embark on, there are several reasons why overweighting in children has become a popular activity. First and foremost, a plethora of parents do not care enough about their kids due to their busy work. For example, it should be noted that a kid who has parents working as doctors or businesses is not received true care from his mother or father, because they might have to work long hours per day and they can not spend enough time with their son. As a result, their kid can eat whatever he wants, including unhealthy food like salty and sugary food. In addition, the unawareness of nutrients and other sorts of food can also lead to the overweight condition in children. For example, although meat is necessary for people's meals, if we eat it too much, we will gain weight easily and might get some diseases about our health. Furthermore, this development has affected the child negatively. It should be noted that this trend has increased the number of children getting problems about weight. As a result, they can get problems about physical health like cardiovascular disease. Furthermore, they might feel less eager to participate in any social activities due to their lack of confidence in their bodies. To conclude, I personally feel that the percentage of youngsters being overweight is rising rapidly all over the world. And this has affected not only the children's health but also their family.
The trend of getting too much weight in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has increased by
nearly
20% in the last ten years. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
neither care about which type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
eat nor the amount of sugar they consume. This essay will discuss various causes and effects of this development on individuals and society. To embark on, there are several reasons why
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has become a popular activity.
First
and foremost, a plethora of parents do not care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
due to their busy work.
For example
, it should
be noted
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
who has parents working as doctors or businesses is not received true care from his mother or father,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work long hours per
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they can not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time with their son.
As a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
can eat whatever he wants, including unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like salty and sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
, the unawareness of nutrients and other sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
also
lead to the overweight condition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, although meat is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's meals, if we eat it too much, we will gain weight
easily
and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases about our health.
Furthermore
, this development has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the child
negatively
. It should
be noted
that this trend has increased the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
getting problems about weight.
As a result
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
problems about physical health like cardiovascular disease.
Furthermore
, they might feel less eager to participate in any social activities due to their lack of confidence in their bodies.
To conclude
, I
personally
feel that the percentage of youngsters being overweight is rising
rapidly
all over the world. And this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the children's health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their family.
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IELTS essay A lot of children nowadays are getting overweight. Dicuss the effects and causes of this

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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