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In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think is it happening? How to solve this issue?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think is it happening? How to solve this issue? mb90O
These days, there is an alarming decrease in the quantity of animals and plants in many nations. I believe that human activities may be a major cause of this problem and there are some actions that need to be taken, especially by governments and schools to tackle it. To commence with, there are some significant factors that directly lead to the disappearance of flora and fauna. One of them is the overexploitation of human for body parts of wild animals and plants, which have considerable values to human. For example, some people may hunt bears and tigers for their fur to make luxurious clothes and rhinos for their horns to trade for money. Besides, big plants in some rainforests are also cut down for wood to build houses and make furniture. Another reason may be the increasing human’s destruction of forest to make way for farming land and the constructions of buildings and infrastructures. People may burn the forests which destroy the natural habitat of various species of animals and plants. As a result, some species are forced to leave their home and some are even pushed to the edge of extinction. Being aware of the causes, there should be some solutions to stopping the fading away of animals and plants. The government should be responsible for imposing high tax on the exploitation of natural forests to discourage people from logging trees. Moreover, there should be some laws to punish those who illegally exploit wildlife species. The government can also apply conservation policy by setting up national parks where areas of forests and life of animals are kept untouched. Furthermore, schooling will play a key role in helping solve the problem. Students should be educated about the importance of wildlife which helps gradually raise their awareness. Consequently, they will join hands in the mutual task and may come up with brilliant ideas to protect animals and plants. To conclude, it is undeniable that human’s demand for material possessions has become a major factor leading to the disappearance of many animals and plants. Therefore, some measures, including including control from governments and education at school, should be taken to address this issue as soon as possible.
These days, there is an alarming decrease in the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities may be a major cause of this problem and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions that need to
be taken
,
especially
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and schools to tackle it.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant factors that
directly
lead to the disappearance of flora and fauna. One of them is the overexploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
for body parts of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
, which have considerable values to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hunt bears and tigers for their fur to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
luxurious clothes and rhinos for their horns to trade for money.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rainforests are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down for wood to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
furniture. Another reason may be the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
destruction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for farming land and the constructions of buildings and infrastructures.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may burn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the natural habitat of various species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are even pushed to the edge of extinction.

Being aware of the causes, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to stopping the fading away of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for imposing high tax on the exploitation of natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
to discourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from logging trees.
Moreover
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws to punish those who
illegally
exploit wildlife species. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
also
apply conservation policy by setting up national parks where areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
and life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
untouched.
Furthermore
, schooling will play a key role in helping solve the problem. Students should
be educated
about the importance of wildlife which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
gradually
raise their awareness.
Consequently
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands in the mutual task and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with brilliant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants.

To conclude
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
demand for material possessions has become a major factor leading to the disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
including including
control from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and education at school, should
be taken
to address this issue as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think is it happening? How to solve this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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