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A large number of death caused by road accidents. Why do so many road accisents occur?

A large number of death caused by road accidents. Why do so many road accisents occur? gWo8d
In the recent decades the number of the cars has been increased significantly. Besides constructing highways to help the efficiency of the transportation resulted in many hazardous accidents that claims many lives so far. Many people believe that it is essential that the government put more resterictions on speed of the cars and also it must control the age and the qualification of the drivers. By the advent of automobiles from the last century, the companies are in a tough competetion for selling their products especially to the youth and those that are enthusiastic about glamorous and the latest brand of the cars. One of the itesms they mentioned in advertising is the speed to attract the unmature youngesters, who are in the favor of driving in a frenzy level of speed. But when they lose the control of the car always there are probiblities that the lives of the residents be in danger. It seems that some programs must be delivered by whom that are in power that teach the young members of the society to use the vehicles properly and avoid high risk behaviors. But always the drivers are not responsible for accidents. The infrastructures are another reason for roads problems. When one is driving in an inconvenient path or in a two sided road, certainly comparing to moving along a sophisticated path with good facilities the risks of unfortunate and life threatening accidents will increased. Overall, both the people and the government are responsible for road accidents. However the residents must be careful about their driving, but also the supervision of the authorities to yhe road construction and their improvements is vital.
In the recent decades the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has
been increased
significantly
.
Besides
constructing highways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the efficiency of the transportation resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that claims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is essential that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
put more
Possible spelling mistake found.
resterictions
on speed of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control the age and the qualification of the drivers.

By the advent of automobiles from the last century, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are in a tough
Possible spelling mistake found.
competetion
for selling their products
especially
to the youth and those that are enthusiastic about glamorous and the latest brand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. One of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
itesms
they mentioned in advertising is the speed to attract the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unmature
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngesters
, who are in the favor of driving in a frenzy level of speed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when they lose the control of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
always there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
probiblities
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the residents be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. It seems that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be delivered
by whom that are in power that teach the young members of the society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the vehicles
properly
and avoid high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
behaviors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
always the drivers are not responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. The infrastructures are another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
problems. When one is driving in an inconvenient path or in a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
two sided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
,
certainly
comparing to moving along a sophisticated path with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of unfortunate and life threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
will increased.

Overall
, both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be careful about their driving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the supervision of the authorities to
Possible spelling mistake found.
yhe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
construction and their improvements is vital.
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IELTS essay A large number of death caused by road accidents. Why do so many road accisents occur?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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