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A journey once you have took

A journey once you have took oknJg
I still remember one particular journey I went on when I was about 16 years old, with my relative. We travelled by personal car and the thing that I remember most was the amazing scenery which was quite different from where we used to live. I couldn’t really remember seeing big mountains before that trip, but the ones I saw were so huge and steep that I recall being seriously impressed by them. I also saw some amazing rivers running down through the mountains and I can remember there was a waterfall, with the water cascading down the side of one of the mountains, and I also saw a lot of animals that you wouldn’t normally see living in a city. It was a short-day trip, I seem to remember it took most of the day, although we stopped every now and then to take a break and have something to eat before continuing. I remember that for a lot of the time I just sat in the car and my face was like pushed up to the window just watching all these things go past as we travelled along the road. Every time I thought I had seen the tallest mountain – we would go round the next bend in the road and there was an even taller mountain right in front. As we went up the mountain road you could see right down into the valley below and I remember feeling a little afraid because I thought if the car fell off the road then we would drop all the way down to the bottom – it was a long way down. It’s funny thinking about it now. I guess that particular journey was important for me because it was the first time I really remember seeing really different landscape from the normal things I would see where I grew up – so it was really impressive and I can still remember the colours and the different smells in the air as we drove along the road.
I
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
one particular journey I went on when I was about 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, with my relative. We travelled by personal car and the thing that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
most was the amazing scenery which was quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. I couldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that trip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ones I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
huge and steep that I recall being
seriously
impressed by them. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amazing rivers running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountains
and I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
there was a waterfall, with the water cascading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
the side of one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountains
, and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
animals that you wouldn’t
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
living in a city. It was a short-day trip, I seem to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
it took most of the day, although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then to take a break and have something to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
continuing. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the time I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sat in the car and my face was like pushed up to the window
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
watching all these things go past as we travelled along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. Every time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the tallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
we would go round the
next
bend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and there was an even taller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
right in front. As we went up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
into the valley below and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
feeling a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
afraid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
if the car fell off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
then we would drop all the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
to the bottom
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
it was a long way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
thinking about it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I guess that particular journey was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was the
first
time I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
landscape from the normal things I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
where I grew up
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
impressive and I can
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remember
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
smells in the air as we drove along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
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IELTS essay A journey once you have took

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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