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A Job which female dominated

A Job which female dominated eE0Wp
Florence Nightingale - the first nurse or the woman with the torch in her hand has become the legendary figure of nursing around the world. Is it the truth that nursing is female dominated because the mother of this profession is a woman? There are two main reasons why women are more likely to become nurses as they always care for others and they are meticulous and hard-working. Nursing tends to be more suitable with women because they have the capability of caring and sharing with other people. This kind of job is that the nurses communicate to not only patients but also their families almost all of their working time. Women know how to make the serious problems become more comfortable by talking softly and slowly. Moreover, women patiently listen to other's feelings. They are always ready to empathise with patients' pain. I alway remember the time I was trained as a nurse in the Tra Vinh general hospital. I encouraged an old man who had liver cancer everyday. It did not make his disease better but it helped him feel more pleasant because he knew he was not alone in the battle of his serious disease. Indeed, only women can deeply care for people about both physical and mental health. The other reason why women are fixed with nursing is that they are always careful and diligent. Nursing is a profession that takes care of people's health, so it always requires absolute accuracy. To achieve that result, the nurse always has to be meticulous to the smallest detail, even just a drop of infusion. Undeniably, women are the best in this field. Furthermore, this profession includes thousands of different tools. Women will be the ones who know how to arrange things to become more organized and easy to use. They also record patient’s documents in the most complete and detailed way for their colleagues to easily understand. In conclusion, it's been like that ever since, nursing is absolutely the job which is more suitable with women. It tends to be like that because nursing requires the people who are always ready to pay much attention to the patient as well as careful and hard-working. However, I think women are fully capable of doing well in many other fields.
Florence Nightingale
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurse
or the woman with the torch in her hand has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the legendary figure of nursing around the world. Is it the truth that nursing is female dominated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the mother of this profession is a woman? There are two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
as they always care for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
they are meticulous and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working.

Nursing tends to be more suitable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the capability of caring and sharing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This kind of job is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
communicate to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their families almost all of their working time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the serious problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more comfortable by talking
softly
and
slowly
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
patiently
listen to other's feelings. They are always ready to
Possible spelling mistake. 'empathise' is British English.
empathise
with patients' pain. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
alway
remember the time I
was trained
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurse
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
general hospital. I encouraged an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who had liver cancer
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. It did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his disease better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him feel more pleasant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he knew he was not alone in the battle of his serious disease.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
deeply
care for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about both physical and mental health.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
with nursing is that they are always careful and diligent. Nursing is a profession that takes care of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it always requires absolute accuracy. To achieve that result, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurse
always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be meticulous to the smallest detail, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a drop of infusion.
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are the best in this field.
Furthermore
, this profession includes thousands of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
will be the ones who know how to arrange things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more organized and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. They
also
record patient’s documents in the most complete and detailed way for their colleagues to
easily
understand.

In conclusion
, it's been like that ever since, nursing is
absolutely
the job which is more suitable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. It tends to be like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nursing requires the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are always ready to pay much attention to the patient
as well
as careful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
fully
capable of doing well in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields.
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IELTS essay A Job which female dominated

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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