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A hundred years ago people thought that the human race was steadily improving in every area of life Now it seems this is not certain that situation In which area do you think we have made important progress nowadays In which areas do you think we still ne v.2

A hundred years ago people thought that the human race was steadily improving in every area of life Now it seems this is not certain that situation In which area do you think we have made important progress nowadays In which areas do you think we still ne v. 2
It is commonly believed that the human has witnessed a sharp improvement in all fields for the last century. However, except for some crucial progresses which has been made in some areas, there are fields in which people should focus more on. This essay will first point out some areas which have developed significantly, then it will discuss on the unfinished progress of some other areas. There is no denying that technology is the most outstanding achievement of the humans. With the existence of technology, people’s life has become much more comfortable and relaxing. Technology is such a blessing, without it humans would be lagged behind and fed up with the enormous workloads they receive daily. For example, compared to those who lived in the time when they still have to harvest manually, people nowadays with the help of various machines can increase the productivity of farming without paying too much effort. Also, it is worth mentioning that by producing and developing medicine, pharmacists and doctors have saved life of many people who suffered from fatal disease. If there were no medicine, human life would be presumably on the blink of extinction. On the other hand, there are two fields humans should pay more attention on. First, the gap between the poor and the rich should be decreased. It is a red alarm that this gap is increasing day by day and this discourages the economy of some developing nations from keeping pace with that of the developed countries. Secondly, the environment should be preserved because a polluted environment causes harms to humans’ life. Therefore, people should protect the environment as much as possible such as restricting private cars or using clean energy such as solar energy, … All in all, people should take great pride in succeeding in developing some areas. Besides, there are some fields should be focus more on.
It is
commonly
believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
has witnessed a sharp improvement in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
for the last century.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial progresses which has
been made
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus more on. This essay will
first
point out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas which have developed
significantly
, then it will discuss on the unfinished progress of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other areas.

There is no denying that technology is the most outstanding achievement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. With the existence of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has become much more comfortable and relaxing. Technology is such a blessing, without it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
would
be lagged
behind and fed up with the enormous workloads they receive daily.
For example
, compared to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the time when they
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
harvest
manually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of various machines can increase the productivity of farming without paying too much effort.
Also
, it is worth mentioning that by producing and developing medicine, pharmacists and doctors have saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffered from fatal disease. If there were no medicine,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be presumably on the blink of extinction.

On the other hand
, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should pay more attention on.
First
, the gap between the poor and the rich should
be decreased
. It is a red alarm that this gap is increasing day by day and this discourages the economy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing nations from keeping pace with that of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.
Secondly
, the environment should
be preserved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a polluted environment causes harms to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should protect the environment as much as possible such as restricting private cars or using clean energy such as solar energy, …

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take great pride
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in succeeding in
developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.
Besides
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
should be focus more on.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A hundred years ago people thought that the human race was steadily improving in every area of life Now it seems this is not certain that situation In which area do you think we have made important progress nowadays In which areas do you think we still ne v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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