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A group of people think that having pocket money weekly to young helps not to face a great deal of problems when they aged.

A group of people think that having pocket money weekly to young helps not to face a great deal of problems when they aged. ApqWw
A group of people think that having pocket money weekly to young helps not to face a great deal of problems when they aged. I completeky agree with this point of view and I believe that children should learn how to control and keep a budget. First of all, when children are given some cash from childhood they train managing their finance. Because many young boys and girls love to buy their favourite toy or a dress and to purchase it they save money. This teaches them to learn money management techniques. For example, Uzbek scientists say that children who received pocket money regulary from younger time, can manage their expenses more wisely. Secondly, giving weekly money to children teaches them the value of money. I am quite inclined to the opinion that money plays the main role in humans life and if they use money without thinking, they will be in debt undoubtly. Having a good life, they have to expand money carefully. I can easily say that when I was young my mother gave me pocket money every month and she always told me that I should use it wisely, otherwise I can not manage my budget. In conclusion children who were given weekly or monthly cash from young age never face financial issues because the learned tactics of using it and its importance in human life.
A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
weekly to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
not to face a great deal of problems when they aged. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
completeky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn how to control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a budget.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash from childhood they train managing their finance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
boys and girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
toy or a dress and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it they save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This teaches them to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management techniques.
For example
, Uzbek scientists say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who received pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
regulary
from younger time, can manage their expenses more
wisely
.

Secondly
, giving weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
teaches them the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I am quite inclined to the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays the main role in humans life and if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without thinking, they will be in debt
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtly
. Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
carefully
. I can
easily
say that when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
my mother gave me pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
month and
she always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
,
otherwise
I can not manage my budget.

In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
weekly or monthly cash from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age never face financial issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the learned tactics of using it and its importance in human life.
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IELTS essay A group of people think that having pocket money weekly to young helps not to face a great deal of problems when they aged.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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