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A group of people in New Zealand were asked

A group of people in New Zealand were asked 2KP0M
A group of people in New Zealand were asked to answer and give their judgment on five questions about culture and cultural activities. They were presented to five questions, and were requested to answer by five predetermined choices. For three of the five questions, The majority replied by agree strongly or slightly. Whether the cultural activities aid in developing people's live as well as gathering them together, around 9 of each 10 participants agreed and 1 disagreed. However, 1 percent of them weren't sure about their answers. In addition, more than 95 percent supported the idea of involving art, music and literature in children education. Nevertheless, the rest refused this proposal. Just two questions tended to be disagreed. Firstly, less than half of the participants said that sporting activities are more important than cultural ones. Yet, more than fifth disagreed and around 5 percent weren't sure. Secondly, 37 percent didn't had a strong feeling of their country's cultural identity, around a third refused and another third weren't sure. Overall, New Zealanders were appreciated to the cultural activities and were enthusiastic to involve them in schools. Still, sport activities and feel of involvement in culture were a big obstacles.
A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in New Zealand
were asked
to answer and give their judgment on five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
about culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. They
were presented
to five
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questions
, and
were requested
to answer by five predetermined choices.

For three of the five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
, The majority replied by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
strongly
or
slightly
. Whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
aid in developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as well
as gathering them together, around 9 of each 10 participants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
and 1 disagreed.
However
, 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of them weren't sure about their answers.
In addition
, more than 95
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
supported the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of involving art, music and literature in children education.
Nevertheless
, the rest refused this proposal.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
two
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questions
tended to
be disagreed
.
Firstly
, less than half of the participants said that sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
ones.
Yet
, more than fifth disagreed and around 5
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percent
weren't sure.
Secondly
, 37
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
didn't
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "have"
had
a strong feeling of their country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
identity, around a third refused and another third weren't sure.

Overall
, New Zealanders
were appreciated
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and were enthusiastic to involve them in schools.
Still
, sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and feel of involvement in culture were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "obstacle"?
obstacles
.
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IELTS essay A group of people in New Zealand were asked

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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