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Self employment advantages and disadvantages

Self employment advantages and disadvantages 7Pp8n
The subject of self employment has been fiercely debate. There are two sides to his debate advantages or disadvantages of self employment. I would like to focus first: advantages of business Business Make reach: money has several hundred employees to make a fragments of company. Business help build a rich because many several people invest the money in stock market. Several people invest their money in long duration time period some people for small duration in stock market to make rich. Sample people invest in stock market Second advantages of self employment is high amount of money gane. Everyone gain a higher amount of money e but it's not able to be some private job and well educated it is possible to be business. So, many people doing a business for gain a high amount of money. Therefore, come to my opinion then you have given highest amount of money so you're doing a business. Turning to the second view point disadvantages of self employment. Let us look at a higher risk of invest money because many people invest the money but sometimes market share down and triumphant the money. To come to my opinion then, business was secure and insecure. We have know the correct then we doing Business.
The subject of self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
has been
fiercely
debate. There are two sides to his debate advantages or disadvantages of self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
. I would like to focus
first
: advantages of
Possible typo: you repeated a word
business Business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
reach:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has several hundred employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a fragment" or simply "fragments"?
a fragments
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in stock market. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in long duration time period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
duration in stock market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
rich. Sample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
in stock market

Second advantages of self
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employment
is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
gane
. Everyone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "gains".
gain
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
e
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's not able to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private job and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
it is possible to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for gain a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to my opinion then you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you're doing a business.

Turning to the second view point disadvantages of self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us look at a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
market share down and triumphant the money.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to my opinion then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
was secure and insecure. We have
Use past participle here: "known".
know
the correct then
Did you mean "we're doing", "we are doing", or "we were doing"?
we doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
.
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IELTS essay Self employment advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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