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A gift help in child development.

A gift help in child development. RkOO8
A gift such as camera, soccer ball or an animal, contributes to a child's development. I would like to give a small bicycle as a gift. And I believe it contributes drastically to child's development. Gifts play a vital role in development of a child, one of the researches shows, when child receives a gift then he tried to corelate the gift with his personal life and his mind produces a vibration of happiness. His mind try to thanks that person who gave him gift.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
such as camera, soccer ball or an animal, contributes to a child's development. I would like to give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
bicycle as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
. And I believe it contributes
drastically
to child's development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gifts
play a vital role in development of a child, one of the researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, when child receives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
then he tried to
Possible spelling mistake found.
corelate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
with his personal life and his mind produces a vibration of happiness. His mind try
Did you mean "to thank"?
to thanks
that person who gave him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
.

IELTS essay A gift help in child development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
85 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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