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A friend of yours has recently announced that she is seriously considering quitting college to look for a full-time job and earn more money. What advice would you give her? Give reasons and examples to support your response. v.1

A friend of yours has recently announced that she is seriously considering quitting college to look for a full-time job and earn more money. What advice would you give her? Give reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1
It is true that developed countries provide financial aid to poorer countries to solve poverty, but it does not solve the economic problem because of several reasons like corruption. I moderately agreed with the point that this financial aid would be replaced with other type of help. To begin with, rich countries often help poor countries to provide financial aid. For example, there are many poor countries in the world who take the help of developed countries to solve the poverty in their nation if other countries are not able to help financially then there are no other help beneficial for that countries. However, it is true that developed countries provide financial aid to poorer countries, but does not solve poverty because of few reasons like corruptions. Nowadays there are many people who are corrupted and used money for solving poverty. For example, many leaders received money from other countries and distribute this money in their department only and for that poor people are not able to get benefit from financial aid. On the other hand, government are not able to manage this money properly and they waste this financial aid for some other work. The last, but not least reason is that only those people who have power are able to get benefit of this financial aid, so for that the poor people are not able to get this benefit. To conclude, I moderately agreed that financial aid does not solve poverty and economic issues in poor countries because of corruptions. Therefore, developed countries provide another type of help like providing food for poor people or free medical check up, so that they could solve poverty and economic problem in poor countries.
It is true that
developed
countries
provide
financial
aid
to poorer
countries
to
solve
poverty
,
but
it does not
solve
the economic problem
because
of several reasons like corruption. I
moderately
agreed
with the point that this
financial
aid
would
be replaced
with
other
type of
help
.

To
begin
with, rich
countries
often
help
poor
countries
to
provide
financial
aid
.
For example
, there are
many
poor
countries
in the world who take the
help
of
developed
countries
to
solve
the
poverty
in their nation if
other
countries
are not
able
to
help
financially
then there are no
other
help
beneficial for that countries.

However
, it is true that
developed
countries
provide
financial
aid
to poorer
countries
,
but
does not
solve
poverty
because
of few reasons like corruptions. Nowadays there are
many
people
who
are corrupted
and
used
money
for solving
poverty
.
For example
,
many
leaders received
money
from
other
countries
and distribute this
money
in their department
only
and for that
poor
people
are not
able
to
get
benefit from
financial
aid
. On the
other
hand,
government
are not
able
to manage this
money
properly and
they waste this
financial
aid
for
some
other
work. The last,
but
not
least
reason is that
only
those
people
who have power are
able
to
get
benefit of this
financial
aid
,
so
for that the
poor
people
are not
able
to
get
this benefit.

To conclude
, I
moderately
agreed
that
financial
aid
does not
solve
poverty
and economic issues in
poor
countries
because
of corruptions.
Therefore
,
developed
countries
provide
another type of
help
like providing food for
poor
people
or free medical
check
up,
so
that they could
solve
poverty
and economic problem in
poor
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend of yours has recently announced that she is seriously considering quitting college to look for a full-time job and earn more money. What advice would you give her? Give reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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