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A friend is expecting you to stay with him in two weeks time, but unfortunately you forgot that you have a business trip at the same time. Write letter to friend-apologise and say that you cannot come to visit-explain why you will not able to visit-suggest v.1

A friend is expecting you to stay with him in two weeks time, but unfortunately you forgot that you have a business trip at the same time. Write letter to friend-apologise and say that you cannot come to visit-explain why you will not able to visit-suggest v. 1
It is argued by some that life is more enjoyable and happy during the high school period. In contrast, some claim that the best time of our lives happen during the mature era, after 20's, being a responsible adult. In my opinion, I believe that both times could have happy and sad moments, and we must enjoy the present, whatever age we are. Firstly, is understandable that people recalling the adolescent as a beautiful an amazing period. The key is that, without big responsibilities in the majority cases, at that time is usually felling freedom and that everything is possible. For example, sometimes I miss going to school since there I could see my friends every day. Also, after academic-hours, I was available to do whatever I wanted. I was not in a hurry all the time or with financial concerns as nowadays. On the other hand, is amazing getting older and learning of the experience, being wiser than before. Responsibilities in the adult routine are difficult. However, mature humans are free to choose a career and a work that make them happy. It means that, in this era, we are capable to reach our personal goals without the supervision of our parents or teachers at school. Every achievement would be because of our effort and persistence. To sum up, learning to take the positives of each time of our lives is crucial to be happy and grateful for all that each era bring to us. Being a teenager and an adult as well, people can experience freedom and amazing feeling to recall forever.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that life is more enjoyable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
during the high school period.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
happen during the mature era, after
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "20s".
20's
, being a responsible adult. In my opinion, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
could have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and sad moments, and we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
enjoy the present, whatever age we are.

Firstly
, is understandable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
recalling the adolescent as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
an amazing period. The key is that, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibilities in the majority cases, at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
usually
felling freedom and that everything is possible.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I miss going to school since there I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my friends every day.
Also
, after academic-hours, I was available to do whatever I wanted. I was not in a hurry all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or with financial concerns as nowadays.

On the other hand
, is amazing getting older and learning of the experience, being wiser than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Responsibilities in the adult routine are difficult.
However
, mature humans are free to choose a career and a work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. It means that, in this era, we are capable to reach our personal goals without the supervision of our parents or teachers at school. Every achievement would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our effort and persistence.

To sum up, learning to take the positives of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is crucial to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and grateful for all that each era bring to us. Being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
and an adult
as well
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can experience freedom and amazing feeling to recall forever.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay A friend is expecting you to stay with him in two weeks time, but unfortunately you forgot that you have a business trip at the same time. Write letter to friend-apologise and say that you cannot come to visit-explain why you will not able to visit-suggest v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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