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Some people think that schools should reward students who have the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show progress. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that schools should reward students who have the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show progress. v. 1
Nowadays computers have become an indispensable part of education, but I disagree that teachers will be replaced by computers in coming future. I believe that no one or any technology can ever replace teachers. In the following paragraphs, I intend to support my views with my arguments. It is known that computers are growing rapidly in this digital world. Students are using this for their projects like PowerPoint presentations and charts etc. , computers play a significant role in schooling. In learning and practice of more complex ideas, the computers are not adequate. For example, it can tell if the answer is right or wrong, but it cannot tell where the student went wrong. Moreover, teachers add their own experiences and knowledge gained through books and other resources. Furthermore, teachers can keep students focused on study and also stimulate interest which makes a faster and easier way to present information to the students. What is more, teachers are role models for the students. They not only teach academic subjects, but also many social skills. Without the interaction with the teachers, students cannot gain knowledge beyond computers. On the other hand, it is also true that the use of computers in study is also the need of the day. Teachers should use computers to add innovation to their teaching methods. They should play a complementary role so that today’s classrooms become very interesting and students can compete with other children of this digital world. In my opinion, I can say that, no doubt computers are being used in the teaching, but they can never replace the teachers.
Nowadays computers have become an indispensable part of education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will
be replaced
by computers in coming future. I believe that no one or any technology can ever replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. In the following paragraphs, I intend to support my views with my arguments.

It
is known
that computers are growing
rapidly
in this digital world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are using this for their projects like PowerPoint presentations and charts etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
computers play a significant role in schooling. In learning and practice of more complex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, the computers are not adequate.
For example
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
if the answer is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
went
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experiences and knowledge gained through books and other resources.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
focused on study and
also
stimulate interest which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a faster and easier way to present information to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are role models for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach academic subjects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Without the interaction with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot gain knowledge beyond computers.

On the other hand
, it is
also
true that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in study is
also
the need of the day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
innovation to their teaching methods. They should play a complementary role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s classrooms become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can compete with other children of this digital world.

In my opinion, I can say that, no doubt computers are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the teaching,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can never replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that schools should reward students who have the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show progress. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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