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Cinema will soon be a thing of the past.

Cinema will soon be a thing of the past. Ql0jb
In the modern world it is becoming less usual to go to the cinemas. Some people believe that cinema will be out of date in the near future. In my opinion cinema will be old stuff in the future. To begin with, in busy life-style of people can lack of time visiting cinemas as there are other social media for example, mobile phones, By having a smart phone human beings might watch a great number of films without going to cinemas as it saves budget of people. Furthermore, nowadays people tend to have a big smart TV at home which is relaxing to watch at home. In addition to this, people feel a greater sense of security at home. What is more, going to cinemas is really waste of time which is frustrating. Cinemas can be far from home and it takes time to go and book a ticket in advance. In addition, cinemas was built in ancient style of construction. Instead of going to cinemas, people currently watch films via the Internet which is updated with the latest and newest films. However, some people argue that cinemas should be kept to watch from big screens which is so excited for people especially young generation. People may visit there with their family or friends to have real feelings of films. To sum up, in my view cinema becomes of the past in the near future as there will be a new options of watching films.
In the modern world it is becoming less usual to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
will be out of date in the near future. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
stuff in the future.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in busy life-style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can lack of time visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
as there are other social media
for example
, mobile phones, By having a smart phone human beings might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a great number of films without going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
as it saves budget of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
smart TV at home which is relaxing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
at home.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel a greater sense of security at home.

What is more
, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
is
really
waste of time which is frustrating.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinemas
can be far from home and it takes time to go and book a ticket in advance.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
was built
in ancient style of construction.
Instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
currently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films via the Internet which
is updated
with the latest and newest films.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screens which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
young generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may visit there with their family or friends to have real feelings of films.

To sum up, in my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
becomes of the past in the near future as there will be a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "option"?
options
of watching films.

IELTS essay Cinema will soon be a thing of the past.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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