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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. a9wo
When the population of a country become more overseas residents, it makes a country more interesting and develop faster. In my perspective, I firmly agree with the statement as they could increase the economy and knowledge about other cultures in a country. The first and foremost reason about the advantage of foregoing statement is more income to the country. This is because when the population is increasing, the businesses will have more workers. Then, this leads to be more productivity of the businesses such as they can have more ideas to make new products easier. Hence, it causes the greater economy in a country. Another reason is more cultures in a country. This makes a country more interesting or fascinating since while the overseas people are coming to live in the country, they have to find work to get money, and this could be an opportunity for them to make their cultures more famous. It could be many ways to do. For example, they could decide to make their own businesses with the ideas of products or services from their culture. As a result, a country will have more amazing places. Next, the reputation of this country will increase. Thus, a country could be the famous place from all people around the world, which is the place of several cultures. In my opinion, I agree that a country becomes develops more quickly and more fascinating when it has more population from difference national residents. Since there are many advantages to a country from more population, such as more knowledge about other cultures and productivity of the businesses in the country.
When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
become more overseas residents, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more interesting and develop faster. In my perspective, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as they could increase the economy and knowledge about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in a country.

The
first
and foremost reason about the advantage of foregoing statement is more income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will have more workers. Then, this leads to be more productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
such as they can have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
new products easier.
Hence
, it causes the greater economy in a country.

Another reason is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more interesting or fascinating since while the overseas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are coming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money, and this could be an opportunity for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. It could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to do.
For example
, they could decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of products or services from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
As a result
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will have more amazing places.
Next
, the reputation of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will increase.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
place from all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world, which is the place of several cultures.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
becomes develops more
quickly
and more fascinating when it has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
from difference national residents. Since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, such as more knowledge about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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