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A cashless society is one where people use debit or credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?

A cashless society is one where people use debit or credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages? Aj1bw
Nowadays paying by credit or debit cards is becoming common among people all over the world. Benefits of this type of payment outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay I will discuss both of good and bad points and give my own ideas. 21 st century is a period of Computer technologies and in this time electronic gadgets and the internet system has increased rapidly. There are a great deal of benefits for human beings. First of all, it reduces distance. For instance, people can pay any payment that they ate or purchased by using their smartphones without going out their home. Secondly, all money they have got, always with themselves and interestingly, this money doesn't take any place from their wallet. Obviously, human can travel everywhere or go to buy so expensive items without carrying big luggages that are full of cash. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of usage of credit or debit cards. For example, bad internet connection may cause to wait for some time to pay and it takes ones' valuable time. Or, inspite of its complete working system, sometimes people have some problems with codes or numbers. Then their cards are blocked or money is taken by wrong address because of some mistakes. In result ones have to go to the banks in order to solve their problems. To sum up, everyone should learn to use their credit cards properly and then they can use all the opportunities of cashless system. In such condition there will be no bad points in usage of cards and it may cause to create a cashless society in future.
Nowadays paying by credit or debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
is becoming common among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world. Benefits of this type of payment outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay I will discuss both of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
points and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Did you mean "21st"?
21 st
century is a period of Computer technologies and in this time electronic gadgets and the internet system has increased
rapidly
. There are a great
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deals"?
deal
of benefits for human beings.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
distance.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can pay any payment that they ate or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by using their smartphones without going out their home.
Secondly
, all money they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
, always with themselves and
interestingly
, this money doesn't take any place from their wallet.
Obviously
, human can travel everywhere or go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive items without carrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
luggages
that are full of cash.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of usage of credit or debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
internet connection may cause
Did you mean "waiting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to wait
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to pay and it takes ones' valuable time. Or,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of its complete working system,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with codes or numbers. Then their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are blocked
or money
is taken
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
address
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes. In result ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the banks in order to solve their problems. To sum up, everyone should learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
properly and
then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all the opportunities of cashless system. In such condition there will be no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
points in usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and it may cause to create a cashless society
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
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IELTS essay A cashless society is one where people use debit or credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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