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894 describe an important choice you had to make in your lifeyou should saywhen you had to make this choicewhat you had to choose betweenwhether you made a good choiceand explain how you feel when you were making this choice. v.1

894 describe an important choice you had to make in your lifeyou should saywhen you had to make this choicewhat you had to choose betweenwhether you made a good choiceand explain how you feel when you were making this choice. v. 1
It is common that nowadays old people are left in the outskirt while their descendants fledged into a metropolis for better opportunities. Although there are undoubtedly several factors behind this trend, societies can take steps to solve this dilemma. First, the main culprits behind this alarming situation are work related demand and the lure of a more convenient life. The majority of big companies are city-based hence youngsters have to relocate close to central business district for a leaner logistics because a daily routine from suburb to downtown and vice versa is exhausted and stressful. As a matter of fact, living in the city obviously has more advantages than in terms of convenience. For instance, there are more schools and hospital available to choose to compare to rural area. Indeed, the needs of young people residing in downtown are solid and understandable. On the other hand, we can mitigate this problem by some certain measures. Government has to seriously address this identified issue and gives solutions to deconcentrate population. In particular, authorities can reward firms who are willing to station in the countryside via tax recession scheme. At the same time, more elderly care programs have to be in place, especially in areas that ratio one senior citizen per population is high. By a balanced planning between city and rural areas, mostly decentralize people density with rewarding system I believe we can bring back more young people home. In conclusion, various approaches can be taken to tackle the problem that are certain to arise as more young people taking their bets into downtown leaving their legacy generation at the countryside.
It is common that nowadays
old
people
are
left
in the outskirt while their descendants fledged into a metropolis for better opportunities. Although there are
undoubtedly
several factors behind this trend, societies can take steps to solve this dilemma.

First
, the main culprits behind this alarming situation are work related demand and the lure of a more convenient life. The majority of
big
companies
are city-based
hence
youngsters
have to
relocate close to central business district for a leaner logistics
because
a daily routine from suburb to downtown and vice versa
is exhausted
and stressful. As a matter of fact, living in the city
obviously
has more advantages than in terms of convenience.
For instance
, there are more schools and hospital available to choose to compare to rural area.
Indeed
, the needs of young
people
residing in downtown are solid and understandable.

On the other hand
, we can mitigate this problem by
some
certain measures.
Government
has to
seriously
address this identified issue and gives solutions to
deconcentrate
population.
In particular
, authorities can reward firms who are willing to station in the countryside via tax recession scheme. At the same time, more elderly care programs
have to
be in place,
especially
in areas that ratio one senior citizen per population is high. By a balanced planning between city and rural areas,
mostly
decentralize
people
density with rewarding system I believe we can bring back more young
people
home.

In conclusion
, various approaches can
be taken
to tackle the problem that are certain to arise as more young
people
taking their bets into downtown leaving their legacy generation at the countryside.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 894 describe an important choice you had to make in your lifeyou should saywhen you had to make this choicewhat you had to choose betweenwhether you made a good choiceand explain how you feel when you were making this choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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