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2124 describe one of the shopping centers you often go towhere is the shopping centerhow often do you go to the centerwhy do you often go to it and its characteristics? v.1

2124 describe one of the shopping centers you often go towhere is the shopping centerhow often do you go to the centerwhy do you often go to it and its characteristics? v. 1
Type of weather liked by the people depends on their pattern of living. While some people think that living in the warmer area is more preferable, others prefer to live in the coldest place. This essay will consider both sides of argument in detail and put forward evidences why I like to live in the cold places as compared to warm places. First and foremost, living in the hot climate is more beneficial because it gives freedom to people wear light clothes and older people has less chances of getting ill. Firstly, the people who live in the warmer area can easily wear trendy and light weighted attires as compared to the people living in the cold climate. Additionally, they are able to show their physics and glamourous look easily. Furthermore, the second factor responsible for the like of warm place is the health of the aged persons, as these places are less prone to muscle or bone related problems. For instance, an article published in the newspaper shows that the people who live in the hot climate are healthier than the people living in the cold area. Thus, lightweight cloth wearing and enhanced health of older people are the major advantages of living in the hot climate. However, there are some people who likes living in the cold places because of these places are calmer and cost effective. Due to coldness, people prefer to spend most of their time inside their homes and office, which reduces the traffic on the roads along with less public crowd. In addition to this, people also do not go out much which also saves money because they do not spend most of their time in shopping as they do when the weather is hot. This affects the nation’s economy growth. For example, the cost of living in the warmest place is much more as compared to the cold ones. Therefore, if people want to live in calm and cost effective place, then cold place is the best option for them. In conclusion, which type of weather is the best option for lifestyle is debatable among the people. In my opinion, living in the colder area is more beneficial than the warmer area due to above reasons.
Type of weather liked by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
depends
on their pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the warmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is more preferable, others prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the coldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. This essay will consider both sides of argument in detail and put forward evidences why I like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as compared to warm places.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the hot climate is more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wear light clothes and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of getting ill.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the warmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can
easily
wear trendy and light weighted attires as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
climate.
Additionally
, they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their physics and
Possible spelling mistake found.
glamourous
look
easily
.
Furthermore
, the second factor responsible for the like of warm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is the health of the aged persons, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are less prone to muscle or bone related problems.
For instance
, an article published in the newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the hot climate are healthier than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Thus
, lightweight cloth wearing and enhanced health of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the major advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the hot climate.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "like"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
likes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are calmer and cost effective. Due to coldness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend most of their time inside their homes and office, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the traffic on the roads along with less public crowd.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
do not go out much which
also
saves money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not spend most of their time in shopping as they do when the weather is hot. This affects the nation’s economy growth.
For example
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the warmest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is much more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
ones.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in calm and cost effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is the best option for them.

In conclusion
, which type of weather is the best option for lifestyle is debatable among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the colder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is more beneficial than the warmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
due to above reasons.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2124 describe one of the shopping centers you often go towhere is the shopping centerhow often do you go to the centerwhy do you often go to it and its characteristics? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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