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66.Shopping has become a favourite pastime for some young people. Do we need to encourage the young to do something more useful in their free time? What is your opinion.

66. Shopping has become a favourite pastime for some young people. Do we need to encourage the young to do something more useful in their free time? What is your opinion. p3od
In recent years, youngsters waste most of their leisure time for shopping and consider it as one of their hobbies. There is an opinion that they should spend time to do something more helpful instead and I completely agree with this point of view. There are numerous reasons why young people choose shopping as an activities in their free time. The first reason is the effect from influencers and celebrities on the social media. Today’s generations consider using the same things which their idol are using or being an ambassador is one of an easy way to support an create a moment with them. For instance, last year, Beyonce collaborated with Adidas to make a new product and it was sold out in a second. Another reason is that teenagers and young adults are easily influenced by their peers. Most of youngsters are competitive, they usually want to use items that more trendy than their friends’, or at least as good as them. In my opinion, young citizens should be motivated to spend their time for another healthy habits, such as: sport, reading, mediate, … instead of wasting too much time on purchasing things. These activities do not only bring good health but also help them gain more knowledge and make new friends. Beside that, youngsters are tend to buy lots of things that they do not actually need and it is waste of money. For example, amount of young people love buying expensive shoes just to show off to their friends. In conclusion, young generation nowadays are getting attracted towards shopping I would argue that people should encouraged them to spend time for another helpful activities that can lead to a better life.
In recent years, youngsters waste most of their leisure
time
for shopping and consider it as one of their hobbies. There is an opinion that they should spend
time
to do something more helpful
instead
and I completely
agree
with this point of view.

There are numerous reasons why
young
people
choose
shopping
as
an activities
in their free
time
. The
first
reason is the effect from influencers and celebrities on the social media.
Today
’s generations consider using the same things which their idol are using or being an ambassador is one of an easy way to support
an
create
a moment with them.
For instance
, last year,
Beyonce
collaborated with Adidas to
make
a new product and it
was sold
out in a second. Another reason is that
teenagers
and
young
adults are
easily
influenced by their peers.
Most of youngsters
are competitive, they
usually
want to
use
items that more trendy than their friends’, or at least as
good
as them.

In my opinion,
young
citizens should
be motivated
to spend their
time
for another healthy habits, such as: sport, reading, mediate, …
instead
of wasting too much
time
on purchasing things. These activities do not
only
bring
good
health
but
also
help
them gain more knowledge and
make
new friends. Beside that, youngsters are
tend
to
buy
lots of things that they do not actually need and it is waste of money.
For example
, amount of
young
people
love
buying expensive shoes
just
to
show
off to their friends.

In conclusion
,
young
generation nowadays are getting attracted towards shopping I would argue that
people
should
encouraged
them to spend
time
for another helpful activities that can lead to a better life.
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IELTS essay 66. Shopping has become a favourite pastime for some young people. Do we need to encourage the young to do something more useful in their free time? What is your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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