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70.What are the advantages of marrying at an early and old age respectively?

70. What are the advantages of marrying at an early and old age respectively? B1x9
These days, some people believe that getting married at an early age will bring more benefit for them. While other persons prefer to get married at older age when they have enough experience. This essay will discuss the benefits of both early and old age marriage respectively. There are number of reasons for advantage of early marriage. The first reason is safer pregnancy. There are studies say that women, who pregnant in young age, will have higher chances of carrying healthy babies, in other words women, who are above thirty five and get a late marriage are at a higher risk of having a baby with birth defect and suffering other complications during pregnancy. Another reason is that it is easier to reduce generation gap between parents and child. Those younger parents are more likely to have an open mind and easier to understand young people trends with their kids. For example, young fathers and mothers are more comfortable to let’s their children hang out or go to concern with their peers. On the other hand, late marriage is still have some strong points which people can hardly deny. Firstly, since most of older couple spent lots of their time to climb the career ladder in previous years, when decide to get married they already have a stable job and earn a stable income. Secondly, parents who delay their marriageable age have more time to self-discovery and surer what kind of life partner they want, therefore divorce rate in old age marriage is usually lower. Beside that, older mothers and fathers gained lots of experience and more likely to make wiser decisions that can lead their children better. In conclusion, no matter whether people choose to get married early or late in their life, each one still has its own pros and cons.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that getting married at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
will bring more benefit for them. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married at older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience. This essay will discuss the benefits of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
respectively
.

There are number of reasons for advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. The
first
reason is safer pregnancy. There are studies say that women, who pregnant in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, will have higher chances of carrying healthy babies, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words women, who are above
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thirty five
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
are at a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of having a baby with birth defect and suffering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
complications during pregnancy. Another reason is that it is easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
generation gap between parents and child. Those younger parents are more likely to have an open mind and easier to understand young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
trends
with their kids.
For example
, young fathers and mothers are more comfortable to
Did you mean "lets" or "let" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
let’s
their children hang out or go to concern with their peers.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is
still
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong points which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can hardly deny.
Firstly
, since most of older couple spent lots of their time to climb the career ladder in previous years, when decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married they already have a stable job and earn a stable income.
Secondly
, parents who delay their marriageable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
have more time to self-discovery and surer what kind of life partner they want,
therefore
divorce rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is
usually
lower. Beside that, older mothers and fathers gained lots of experience and more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wiser decisions that can lead their children better.

In conclusion
, no matter whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
or late in their life, each one
still
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
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IELTS essay 70. What are the advantages of marrying at an early and old age respectively?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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