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415 describe something you own which is very important to youyou should say: where you got it fromhow long you have had itwhat you use it forand explain why it is so important to you v.1

415 describe something you own which is very important to youyou should say: where you got it fromhow long you have had itwhat you use it forand explain why it is so important to you v. 1
It is common nowadays to buy or download an e-book from the internet and study. Many people find this is a better approach than studying from books from the libraries. In my view, digital technology cannot replace the traditional way of studying in the libraries. Furthermore, in this essay, I am going to discuss some of my arguments related to it. Firstly, digital screens are not convenient sources for studying and learning, as it put stress on the eye. It is common that people take short breaks in between, which distracts attention from reading. Additionally, the noise and surrounding while understanding texts from the book might not be suitable as compare to the calm and noise-free libraries. Therefore, studying in libraries provide an atmosphere which can be more focused to understand. Nevertheless, affording laptops and costs related to it, is not in everyone’s budget. As the demand for digital books and gadgets are rising, the prices of it is on the high as well. To illustrate, many middle and lower class families cannot afford such digital gadgets to everyone in their families. On the other hand, public libraries are a free source of education, which can be access by everyone. This states that the values of public libraries are very crucial in societies. To conclude, it is important to understand that libraries amongst the public has their own values, which serves to all individuals and creates a unique reading atmosphere. Therefore, such libraries should be maintained well and updated for the audience.
It is common nowadays to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or download an e-book from the internet and study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find this is a better approach than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
from books from the libraries. In my view, digital technology cannot replace the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in the libraries.
Furthermore
, in this essay, I am going to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my arguments related to it.

Firstly
, digital screens are not convenient sources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and learning, as it put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the eye. It is common that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take short breaks in between, which distracts attention from reading.
Additionally
, the noise and surrounding while understanding texts from the book might not be suitable as compare to the calm and noise-free libraries.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in libraries provide an atmosphere which can be more focused to understand.

Nevertheless
, affording laptops and costs related to it, is not in everyone’s budget. As the demand for digital books and gadgets are rising, the prices of it is on the high
as well
. To illustrate,
Possible agreement error. The noun middle seems to be countable; consider using: "many middles".
many middle
and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families cannot afford such digital gadgets to everyone in their families.
On the other hand
, public libraries are a free source of education, which can be access by everyone. This states that the values of public libraries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in societies.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand that libraries amongst the public has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
values, which serves to all individuals and creates a unique reading atmosphere.
Therefore
, such libraries should
be maintained
well and updated for the audience.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay 415 describe something you own which is very important to youyou should say: where you got it fromhow long you have had itwhat you use it forand explain why it is so important to you v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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