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3. Leaders like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice. v.2

3. Leaders like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice. v. 2
It’s clear to me that leaders are one of the most important part of our lives. They try to make important contribution to their people and assiss to improve movements of their countries and can have an important rull in world. Such as John H. Kennedy and Martin Luther king that have an effective rull in U. S. country. Although there are many good reasons that other leader in another country are very usufull, I support the idea that Koorosh Kabir king in Iran was a perminent and a great man that peaple in all of world should know him for his big works that provides a better life style for future because this leads to thrive through the entire universe. Two personal reasons convince me that Koorosh Kabir was the best leader and king between all of the world and I want to describe him. One of the most important profits is the opportunity to use his numerous experiences, speeches and enormouse works. He did have massive effectfull thoughtfullness and tact in succeeding to lead to peaple and their life. He wanted to have big responsibity to get better the country and his experiences are in many books that wrote in many years ago by many authors. His life and works changed the world. For example, I study too much books about him when I go to library in near my home and I often borrow his books from my friends who have same idea about the leader. We are unanimously about the speeches which is fairly good and beautiful writing. Once one of my teacher in high schools talked about how he treated and lived in long time of his life and after that she spoke about his speeches. It was really nice and beautiful and I learn a lot. In fact, I knew him after that time. I actually love the books that are about him. As you can see in books, his vocations that makes to be great leader. An other huge advantages to lead is the chance to defend people’s rights and make peace in whole wide of areas. To order this achievement, he determined national’s and human’s rights for all of world and made calm all peaple. In history, he was unique king that had such works and was a kind, kind, great and likelly king. I love Kabir king for his works. He merits to make thankfully and gratefully celebration each year. For instance, I always connect to the internet and go to many sites that is about leaders of the world then I get news. One of events that I pay attention to it, it’s about Koroosh Kabir king. I notice this knews all times. One day I studied a statement about him in a newspaper. It was very interesting for me because it was about my favorit leader. That was written about his works. The weblog was written about father of Iran and who defent people of world and also after a while he wrote bills and rulls about human’s right. These experiences taught me that he affects not only for our life but alsofor another person in other cultures. In sum, all of the leaders have an essential rull in our life, but I think Koorosh Kabir had gread influences. Not only will his experiences profit but alsomaking peace and bills in universal community is always usefull. Eventually following the great works of him should be persued in through comprehencial world wide.
It’s
clear
to me that
leaders
are one of the most
important
part of our
lives
. They try to
make
important
contribution to their
people
and
assiss
to
improve
movements of their
countries
and can have an
important
rull
in
world
. Such as John H. Kennedy and Martin Luther
king
that have an effective
rull
in U. S.
country
. Although there are
many
good
reasons that other
leader
in another
country
are
very
usufull
, I support the
idea
that
Koorosh
Kabir
king
in Iran was a
perminent
and a
great
man
that
peaple
in all of
world
should know him for his
big
works that provides a better
life
style for future
because
this leads to thrive through the entire universe. Two personal reasons convince me that
Koorosh
Kabir
was the best
leader
and
king
between
all of the
world
and I want to
describe
him.

One of the most
important
profits is the opportunity to
use
his numerous
experiences
, speeches and
enormouse
works. He did have massive
effectfull
thoughtfullness
and tact in succeeding to lead to
peaple
and their
life
. He wanted to have
big
responsibity
to
get
better the
country
and his
experiences
are in
many
books
that wrote in
many
years ago by
many
authors. His
life
and works
changed
the
world
.
For example
, I study too
much
books
about him when I go to library in near my home and I
often
borrow his
books
from my friends who have same
idea
about the
leader
. We are
unanimously
about the speeches which is
fairly
good
and
beautiful
writing. Once one of my teacher in high schools talked about how he treated and
lived
in long time of his
life
and after that she spoke about his speeches. It was
really
nice and
beautiful
and I learn a lot. In fact, I knew him after that time. I actually
love
the
books
that are about him. As you can
see
in
books
, his vocations that
makes
to be
great
leader.

An other
huge advantages to lead is the chance to defend
people
’s rights and
make
peace in whole wide of areas. To order this achievement, he determined national’s and
human’s rights
for all of
world
and made calm all
peaple
. In history, he was unique
king
that had such works and was a kind, kind,
great
and
likelly
king
. I
love
Kabir
king
for his works. He merits to
make
thankfully
and
gratefully
celebration each year.
For instance
, I always connect to the internet and go to
many
sites
that is
about
leaders
of the
world
then I
get
news. One of
events
that I pay attention to it, it’s about
Koroosh
Kabir
king
. I notice this
knews
all times. One day I studied a statement about him in a newspaper. It was
very
interesting for me
because
it was about my
favorit
leader
. That
was written
about his works. The weblog
was written
about father of Iran and who
defent
people
of
world
and
also
after a while he wrote bills and
rulls
about human’s right. These
experiences
taught me that he affects not
only
for our
life
but
alsofor
another person in other cultures.

In sum,
all of the
leaders
have an essential
rull
in our
life
,
but
I
think
Koorosh
Kabir
had
gread
influences. Not
only
will his
experiences
profit
but
alsomaking
peace and bills in universal community is always
usefull
.
Eventually
following the
great
works of him should be
persued
in through
comprehencial
world wide
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Mistakes

IELTS essay 3. Leaders like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
582 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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