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29. 09. 2017 You have recently visited a tourist attraction and were very pleased by the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the staff manager and say– Give details of your visit. – Describe how the staff helped you. – What do you want the v.1

29. 09. 2017 You have recently visited a tourist attraction and were very pleased by the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the staff manager and say– Give details of your visit. – Describe how the staff helped you. – What do you want the v. 1
In this Neoteric epoch, online rejuvenation has always influenced plenty of sectors, exclusively the communication one. A myriad of people bolsters that this increment entices inhabitants make new comrades and diminishes the introvert. Thereby, this essay will decipher the approbation regarding the notion, along with particular premise. First of all, this rejuvenation abolishes geographical barriers. It is an irrefutable fact that prior to the contrivance of the mobile phones, communicating has to do in the same place. However, since this paraphernalia was devised, a plethora of people are proficient in cooperating regardless of their geographical location. Therefore, Denizens are proficient in interacting effortlessly with their overseas’ fellows. Furthermore, due to the improvement of communication sector, it is swifter for them to make friends with a foreign inhabitant by an unconscious meeting. Moreover, some applications oblige the consumers to be interactive. There is ample evidence to suggest that numerous reserved people like to play games because they presume that playing games are the best measure for revealing stress. However, plenty of online games require teamwork to achieve victory. Thus, they will communicate with other players for compiling the strategy, and they can invite the player to play again. Thereupon, when they are bored, they can utilize some webs that show each other face. Hence, they are capable of devoting their stress by talking to others. In conclusion, irrespective of the foibles, this enhancement allows people to communicate accessibly. Also, people can gain some new companions by harnessing some features on the Neoteric paraphernalia.
In this Neoteric epoch, online rejuvenation has always influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sectors, exclusively the communication one. A myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bolsters that this increment entices inhabitants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new comrades and diminishes the introvert. Thereby, this essay will decipher the approbation regarding the notion, along with particular premise.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this rejuvenation abolishes geographical barriers. It is an irrefutable fact that prior to the contrivance of the mobile phones, communicating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do in the same place.
However
, since this paraphernalia
was devised
, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are proficient in cooperating regardless of their geographical location.
Therefore
, Denizens are proficient in interacting
effortlessly
with their overseas’ fellows.
Furthermore
, due to the improvement of communication sector, it is swifter for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with a foreign inhabitant by an unconscious meeting.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications oblige the consumers to be interactive. There is ample evidence to suggest that numerous reserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to play games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they presume that playing games are the best measure for revealing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of online games require teamwork to achieve victory.
Thus
, they will communicate with other players for compiling the strategy, and they can invite the player to play again. Thereupon, when they
are bored
, they can utilize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
webs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
each other face.
Hence
, they are capable of devoting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
by talking to others.

In conclusion
, irrespective of the foibles, this enhancement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate
accessibly
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new companions by harnessing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
features on the Neoteric paraphernalia.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 29. 09. 2017 You have recently visited a tourist attraction and were very pleased by the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the staff manager and say– Give details of your visit. – Describe how the staff helped you. – What do you want the v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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